(Closed) Still don't love the ring :(

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@VikingPrincess:  I agree with you. I wouldn’t be able to wear a ring I didnt like for that long. after reading all of these posts about not liking rings I’m glad my fiancé got me something I liked because I dont know what I would say but I probably wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings lol. 

Post # 19
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee

@FoxyBride14:  Oh man thank you! I thought people would hate me for saying that. His feelings are important but so are hers and she has to wear it. She should enjoy it. I want to make my guy happy and if he wasn’t happy with something I got him I would suck it up and try to do better. That’s just me though.

OP I don’t think you should feel bad about not liking the ring. You don’t like it…you don’t like it.

Post # 20
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@heathuhhhhwebbbb:  Right? this is one piece of jewelery we should LOVE. period end of story 

Post # 21
Member
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bzbride2277:  you may get some slack on here b/c “it should be the thought that counts” but i am a believer of “you should love the ring you are wearing”.  my dh has the same mind set so he asked me what i wanted and he got me exactly what i asked for.  i love it.

i think that you need to tell him that the ring is not your style.  if you want to upgrade it, would you yourself be prepared to put forward the money to do so?  what if you kept the stone and chose a halo setting with pave band and matching wband?  that will make your centre appear larger and the pave bands will have the extra sparkle you want.  this will also be easier and maybe even cheaper than having a special wband custom made b/c of the curve.

in the end, it’s your happiness that he should care about.

Post # 22
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee

@bzbride2277:  Still no pic?  If he makes a “very good salary,” why did he get you 1/2 carat?

Post # 23
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did the two of you talk about engagement at all before he proposed? What you like/don’t like?

My fiance and I designed my engagement ring together (although he saved some of it for a surprise). Honestly, it was a lot of fun and I think it brought us closer together. I think it’s kind of sad when men propose without giving thought to what their future fiance would like.

Post # 24
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

@bzbride2277:  Honestly, I would tell him how much the ring means/symbolizes to you and that you appreciate the time and money he spent picking it out but let him know that it’s not your style and that since you’re going to be wearing it the rest of your life, you want something that you’d be a little more comfortable with and that’s more “you.”

If he takes you to a jewelry store to get a new ring, pick out a few you love then ask him which ones of those he likes. If he feels like he had a say in it, his ego won’t be as hurt then show off the new ring like crazy and tell your friends how your fiance helped pick it out.

I think you should nip this in the bud now. There’s no sense in waiting 5 years down the line where you can’t stand your ring and wish you could have changed it. Every bride deserves to adore her ring and get excited about showing it to people. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Smile

Post # 25
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@bzbride2277:  I totally get your point about your embarassment and ring comparision. I do get it’s all relative.. As someone else pointed out, you may get some flack from others though!

What I don’t get is why your fiance chose the ring he did. Did he solicit your input at all prior to purchasing it?   Is he naturally frugal? (I’d be curious about the diamond stats ) You said you both do quite well–with that in mind, seems surprising he would choose what he did. 

It’s obvious he is aware you are not totally enamored with it thus his comments: “sorry I got you a bad ring”.  Childish! Knowing (at the very least, suspecting!) that you don’t care for the ring, he still tries to guilt you into continuing to wear it.

I’d stop pussyfooting around (LOL) and pull the bandaid off in one fell swoop. “Hon, this ring is not my style, thanks for the lovely thought and effort but lets go ring shopping”. Then do it and get what  you really want. You’ll be wearing  it forever. You can either trade in the old stone or reset it into a pendant or save it for your first child (if you’re having any)

Good luck.

Post # 26
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

It’s your ring, and he should be sensitive to the fact that you’re unhappy with it. He shouldn’t just ignore your feelings or make you feel guilty for feeling how you feel. You have given it 6 months, and your feelings haven’t changed. You need to get him on board with changing the ring. I would use the center stone as a necklace, and get a whole new ring. 

Post # 27
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

“Sweetheart, I really need to talk to you about my ring. I’m so excited to be engaged to you and can’t wait to be your wife, but the ring is just not my style. It’s beautiful — there’s nothing wrong or ‘bad’ about it, it’s just not ‘me,’ the same way a (brand of car or style of clothing or whatever doesn’t appeal to him) isn’t ‘you.’

I’ve tried so hard to love it the way I love you but I just don’t. It would make me so happy if we could go together and pick out a replacement that we both love. I know you love me and want me to love my ring.”

Post # 28
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

It sucks you waited so long bc now it can’t be returned or exchanged. Hopefully he didn’t pay a crazy amount. That was my problem with ring shopping the jewelry stores prices were like a 150% markup it was crazy so hopefully that won’t be a factor in getting a new ring

i would just tell him you know you want to be with him for the rest of your life but your ring isn’t your dream ring and you would like to trade it for Something you love. I really think guys shoud include their future wives in the ring buying process bc most of the time the woman doesn’t like their ring and their the ones wearing it forever. 

Post # 29
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jijitattoo:  Eureka! Well said! 

Post # 30
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you should go for an awesome blinged out wedding band that stands on its own and not wear the ering when you get married.  Keep your ering in the box after the wedding and just use some excuse like it’s sentimental and you don’t want to wear it, it doesn’t go with your wedding band, etc.  He already knows you don’t like the ering and doesn’t want to change it, but the flipside of that is that you don’t need to wear a ring you don’t like forever.  If you don’t wear the ring, he may eventually realize that resetting the ring’s the only way it’ll get worn.

 

For example, something like this:

 

http://www.brilliantearth.com/Luxe-Antique-Scroll-Ring-(3/4-ct.tw.)-Platinum-BE244/

 

  or this

http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-ring-platinum_9717

will stand on its own and have some of the beautiful details you were hoping for.

 

 

Post # 31
Member
1914 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

@Jijitattoo:  this

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