(Closed) Still don't love the ring :(

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Jijitattoo:  + 1 exactly. yes, he might get upset – but you’re upset now! wouldn’t it be better to tell him the truth (kindly) talk it out and come up with a solution? as long as you’re not rude about it, i don’t see the harm in telling him, even though he’ll be upset. 

it’s your engagement ring, you should like it, and it should be a reflection of your style. maybe after trying to pick a wedding band would be a good time. point out that none of the bands sat the way you want them to because of the curve etc. 

it’s not an ideal situation, but you’ve waited 6 months – i don’t think you’re going to wake up tomorrow and love it. and i’m SURE that’s not what he wants, he wants you to love it!

Post # 33
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

@mypinkshoes:  +1 Totally agree. Kindly approach him with the truth. I wouldn’t fret too much about how you feel compared to your engaged peers, he clearly has a bit of an ego as well, “sorry I gave you a bad ring,” “why haven’t you posted your ring?” It sounds like this topic isn’t getting the quality of communication it deserves. This won’t be the last major purchase you disagree on, might as well get in some compromise practice going.

Post # 34
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@bzbride2277:  Did you already pick your weddingband? Having a curved ring can be a problem to find a band so that might be a reason for some alterations to the e-ring so that you can wear one or two very expensive and blingy bands with it.

You’re embarrassed that others think its too small? Why bother what others might think! He got you half a carat so it’s not a invisible chip diamond ring but a normal sized engagement ring HE liked and HE picked for you.  

 

 

 

Post # 35
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee

If I were you, I would be just as upset as you are. Not only did your Fiance get you a ring that you disliked, but he won’t even listen to you when you tell him it’s not your style.

As one PP asked, do you think the stone is too small, or do you think your friends think it’s too small? Judging by the your OP, you compare your ring to your coworkers’s a lot.

Ordinarily, I’d suggest telling your Fiance that you want something else, but his reactions in the OP indicate that it might not be a battle worth fighting. In that case, I’d suggest that you get a wedding band with all the intricate details that you dreamed of.

Post # 36
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

MAybe you could do an enhancer and band for your wedding set. There are many beautiful enhancers that will make your solitaire look like a 3 stone ring, and you could pair a nice  ornate wedding ring with it. Then you would also have a variety of looks to love.

Post # 37
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
Post # 38
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@DeeWee:  Totally agree!

Post # 39
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@dewingedpixie:  these are gorgeous! I have never actually seen enhancers before but I really love the idea!.

Post # 40
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

Yes, as some others have said, I would approach it this way: “Honey I can tell it upsets you that I don’t like my ring as much as you hoped for, but I am upset too.  Let’s work together to find a ring we both love – maybe we could go shopping together for a different design this weekend?  I know you want me to love the ring as much as I love you since I’ll be wearing it forever!”
The key is the last part – that he loves you, and since he loves you OF COURSE he wants you to be happy with your ring.  There’s no way he could disagree with this statement.  If he does, he’s being egocentric and you might need to let him calm down a bit before you approach this again.

I don’t think you’re being bratty at all – this is YOUR ring, and you should love it!  

Post # 41
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

 

@bzbride2277:  maybe you could just get a wedding band that you can wear alone and stop wearing your engagement ring. Something like an eternity band

Post # 42
Member
8038 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@bzbride2277:  I feel bad for you. Plenty of people disagree with me, but I think that if it’s on your finger forever you should have some say in it!

Awkward situation obviously, but I think your Fiance needs to get over it and try to make this better for you. I don’t think you’re asking for anything unreasonable, and you tried to like the ring.

Post # 43
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

@lifegirl:  Some of these are used as wedding bands they are wraps. Others just make your ring look different. I have a friend who has a round solitaire she inherited and didnt want that for her ring. They got an enhancer with sapphires that made it a 3 stone, and an eternity wedding band.

Post # 44
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband and I never discussed rings. I mentioned once to him that I liked white gold in passing. I always drooled over the verragio rings. (So intricate and pretty!)

 

 

 

I got a Portuguese Yellow Gold solitaire with a .75 carot diamond. Is it what I would have picked out? No. Do I love it? Yes. My husband picked it out for me, proposed to me with it. His parents own a jewelry store specializing in Portuguese gold, so that’s where he purchased the ring. That also makes it special. I also have a new found love for all things gold. I’m really in love with my ring now. The diamond is beautiful, and the style of the ring is very classic. I got a fairly plain wedding band becaue it’s all we could afford. (plus we have matching bands, which is fun)

Some day I may ask for an anniversary band to add a little more sparkle.

Can you wait it out and get an upgrade as an anniversary gift? Perhaps a larger diamond then?

An anniversary gift might not make it feel like you’re replacing your engagement ring. Is your fiance really sentimental? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 46
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@dewingedpixie:  fantastic idea and I may do this myself in the future with another ring that i have:)

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