(Closed) still feeling weird about the wedding months later – is this normal?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh sweetie, i feel for you!  We all have things that don’t make us happy when we look back on it.  And it’s just too easy to dwell on it!  Why are the negative things easier to think about then the good?? You are not crazy and you are not alone 🙂  We all build our weddings up so much in our heads that on the day-of it’s nearly impossible for everything to be totally perfect.  But I will definitely agree the pictures are a big one, I don’t blame you for being upset!  Did you get a copy of every single photo your photographer took?  Ours took somewhere around 4500 photos, but we get his edited group of 450 (because the vast majority are usually outakes, which is why they take so many).  But we have the option of getting the rest of them if we want, so if you have that option maybe go for it.  There might be some in there that he cut but you would have kept. 

Sorry, this gets a little long, but the best advice I can give is try to remember and think about what DID go right, and not dwell on the things that went wrong.  I was married about 3 months ago as well and sometimes find myself dwelling on all the details that i wish had been different too.  There are SO many little details and stupid stuff that I can dwell on, I can’t even list it all, so I know exactly where you’re coming from.  But despite that I have only happy memories of the day and i’ll explain why… Perfect example: one big thing that went wrong: our coordinator was shit too, and to make it worse she wasn’t the coordinator we were supposed to have!  She is usually an assistant but was left in charge because the real coordinator couldn’t stay for the whole event (they both worked for the venue, not a hired DOC).  The girl that took over was unprofessional, lacked initiative, and basically expected us to tell her when to start everything (speeches, cutting the cake, etc).  She never even introduced herself!  Someone else had to fill me in on the change. After dinner, nothing was happening until I went to her, when we realized things were running about 20 or 30 minutes late.  I was really bothered that I had to worry about this b/c it’s HER job to make sure things are running on time, not ours.  We were the bride and groom, we’re supposed to be enjoying outselves, not worrying about timelines!  What else is a coordinator for?? We never had the bouquet or garter toss either because, honestly, we forgot about it so therefore didn’t tell her when to get things in place so therefore it never happened.  Good thing I’m not the type to care about that, but still it shows her TOTAL lack of responsibility.  But I don’t feel any regret because despite all this there was never a lull or time that felt like it was dragging even tho stuff happened late.  Everyone was having a great time and so it didn’t matter.  Our real concern was that the late start meant we were cutting into the band and dance party time which was a very important part of the night to us.  but that was a HUGE success and so it didn’t matter that we started late, it was a blast!  So I’m sure, despite all the disapointments, you have plenty to be happy about!  What parts do you think back on and smile?  Or think “that was so lovely!” or “that was so fun!”?  remember THOSE things and not all the other stuff 🙂

Edit: sorry, that is really REALLY long ha! 

Post # 4
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im sorry you are feeling this way. Hopefully time will help with this. Maybe years down the road you could do a vow renewal and get some better photographs of you and your husband. Buy a more simple white dress, do it on a beach or some destination and get some great photos of the two of you!

Also, did we have the same DJ?? Mine didnt have any of our special dance songs. Luckily I had the foresight to put them on a CD beforehand so that saved us. We had given him a list of 40-50 songs to choose from and then about 10 of those that were MUST PLAY songs (I wrote it in bold all caps next to the songs) and our DJ didnt play ANY of them!!! He had close to 50 songs to choose from that we hand picked and he couldnt even play one? That is probably the thing that annoyed me the most about our wedding day looking back on it. However, I cant even remember what songs he did play because I would have danced to anything and I had an amazing time!

You guys could also do a TTD shoot or maybe just some nice professional shots of you guys at a cool setting. I hope you can sort your feelings out! 🙂

Post # 5
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think there is so much hype with reading and watching wedding tv shows or reading alot of online sites that we are bombarded with the “perfect” pics.  I have yet to see a wedding (including mine) that was perfect.

Heck, at the end of my reception, the people were allowed to leave by the staff (who were instructed what to do) without us having our send off.  Yep.  I paid lots of money for some precious send off wands, and we didn’t even use them at all.  Now that p*ssed me off royally, but it is what it is.

Sometimes the cropping of a pic, a different filter, or some work from the photographer can take a so so pic and turn it into a masterpiece imho.  But like the above poster suggested have more pictures taken!

It is one day of our lives and I believe today there is so much hype building up to that day that the day after, or the day after we return from the honeymoon,  almost all of us feel some sort of “let down” type of feeling.

Just remember, there are many out there who aren’t blessed to find this kind of lifelong love and now you get to have the title of newlywed for an entire year!  That’s fun too!  I kinda think newlywed should stick for a few years.

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