Post # 1
Hi Bee’s. Ill will make this short. My BF and I met On ChristianMingle Over 8 months ago. Last night I was helping him with a class test and he logs on to his Yahoo act and a message says Match.com with his name and saying three people have viewed his profile. He had told me before that he had bought the year subscription for his online sites but didn’t renew. I had told him there is difference in renewing or completely deleting.
Do I think he cheated? No way. We spend a lot of time together. I trust him in that regard. I don’t think he would ever cheat. But what do I make of this? I feel like why in the world keep a dating profile?!! Is he just trying to keep his options open? What would you do?
I am sure after last night, he deleted it. But I am still really hurt.
Thanks in advance Bee’s.
Post # 2
I would not worry too much about it. It took me a while to remove my profile from match after I started to date my SO. I really just forgot about it. To me it sounds honest.
Post # 3
I suspect that he (just like most men) ignored it and assumed that it would go away. If you’re that hurt, you need to talk to him because, in my opinion, this isn’t something that would be a deal breaker, but listening to you, it sounds like it is.
Talk to him, tell him you’re hurt and see where it goes.
Post # 4
i’ve been married 2.5 years and i still get emails from dating sites that i signed up on but never paid for. gmail is pretty good about handling spam, as that is what i set them too. but sometimes they slip through the crack. i have unsubsribed many times, but i can’t get them to stop coming.
i wouldn’t worry about it. it is probably a marketing tactic on the website to get people to come back.
when i was in the dating world, i did have an online dating account with jdate. sometimes i would take breaks when my paid subscription ran out. i would get alerts, you have messages waiting. so i would pay again and there would be nothing there.
i feel that is probably what is going on here.
Post # 5
Did you ask him about it? You really need to talk to him. This is a perfect time to work on your communication skills in your relationship. Youve been together for 8 months – you have EVERY right to ask him why that email was in his inbox and why he still has the profile.
Like you said, it could be as simple as he paid for a year and didnt know he could delete it or whatever. BUT – you really need to have a straightforward conversation with HIM – not w/some bees on the internet who dont know his intentions.
And yes, you have a right to be upset about it. I would be.
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom
DH and I met on CathlolicMatch, and I had paid for a 6 month subscription just before he messaged me on that site. I kept my profile up until my subscription ended But, I did mention on my profile that I was dating someone, so I was just on the site for friendship. I had also had a couple other dating site profiles that I had forgotten about and didn’t end up deleting until after we were engaged – the emails from those sites ended up in my junk mail folder or I probably would have gotten to them sooner. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 7
He should have at least hid it so others couldn’t see his profile, but I wouldn’t worry about it too much.. If he didn’t already, just tell him you’d like for him to delete and then I wouldn’t really bring it up again.
Post # 8
My husband and I broke up for a few months when we were dating. He joined an online dating site while we were broken up. When we got back together he just never bothered to delete the profile (it was a free site so I he never had to renew). Hoenstly, this was years ago and I could probably still find him on there, lol! He’s just lazy when it comes to stuff like that and forgets his passwords to log back in a delete. I’m not worried about it, he’s definitely not cheating.
It’s only been a few months. Maybe he figured it would just erase itself after the year subscription ended. Why don’t you talk to him about it?
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I haven’t used a dating site in like 6 years and I still get emails from them randomly.
Post # 10
You met 8 months ago, but how long have you actually been dating and exclusive? I’m guessing that he just forgot it was open and thought it would just go away, but he also could have been keeping it open on purpose in case things didn’t work out with you.
None of us can read his mind though, so just talk to him.
Post # 11
My husband and I met on POF, but he also had a match profile. He still gets emails from them. He just forgot about the accounts and has since forgotten the password to go in and delete the account. It’s NBD, these sites love to spam you.
Post # 12
A week or two after my now husband told me he wanted to date exclusively, he asked me to check something in his email and I was flooded with his match.com notifications. One WTF look later earned me a “what? I haven’t logged in or checked them for months. Oh. Wait. No, you’re right, that looks bad. I’ll close the account now.”
Post # 13
I can’t for the life of me delete or close my match profile. I have unsubscribed, marked as spam, closed and deleted my account. DH has tried to do the same to my account as well.
The emails keep coming.
Post # 14
It’s a lot of effort to go in and delete the profile and to be honest, I was uncomfortable with doing so while I was dating because somehow just being on the site felt like cheating… whereas ignoring the emails felt fine!
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2017 - Wedgewood Tower Club
I think he’s being honest. It takes forever to get your profile off Match!