(Closed) still send invitation to those who can't attend?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think yes because some people just like the thought of being invited. Let the groommans know we know you probably won’t be able to make it but we still thinking of you.

ps: My other thing is to prepared for some of them who may expect to say no to acutally say yes. You be surprised. A couple years ago when my brother got married he invited my Mother family members who we almost never see aren’t close too. Her great aunt and unlce are in their 70’s and the other in mid 80’s and they both made the effort to come because they really wanted to see us.

Post # 4
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

definitely yes.  people like the thought of just being invited to your special day.  it is worth the stamp.

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You send invitations to those you would want to come if in an ideal world they would be able to be there. You are not supposed to consider whether or not you know/think they will or won’t come. Besides, situations change. People who told me they wouldn’t be able to come no matter what came. It’s their decision, not yours, even if they already made it. They could change their mind. Plus, it’s a simple courtesy to send the invitation to express that you would want them there.

Post # 6
Member
2674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

I would say yes. In the case of the elderly who cannot travel, they’d at least like to know you thought of them and they were invited. In the case of people who’ve already said that they can’t come, I sent invitations anyways in case their other commitments fell through so that they’d know they were still welcome to come.  As @mrsSonthebeach: said, it’s just nice to invite everyone who you’d really like to be there in an ideal world. And you shouldn’t expect that they’ll all still say no. Sometimes things change and you’ll get a nice surprise (in the form of a yes RSVP, not an unforeseen wedding guest).

 

Post # 7
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, and we did.   Its still a nice gesture regardless.

We sent one to my hubbys cousin who is teaching over in Japan, and we knew he couldn’t make it, but he said it made his day to get the invite anyway.  

Post # 8
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, absolutely. Even if they tell you not to “waste the postage” or something, you definitely still should.

Post # 9
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Absolutely.  I still wanted all the people I want there to know they were wanted. 

The only exception was a cousin that I contacted 3 times to get his address, and he replied all three times that he couldn’t make it, and didn’t need an invite and wouldn’t give me the info.

Post # 11
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I actually say no. To me, it would sound like ok I know you can’t go, but I still expect a gift. 

Post # 12
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yes, I was planning to do the same thing but in case a miracle happened and they were able to go but it would mess with my cost/space plans, I was going to attach a brief handwritten note: I understand you’re unable to attend because of x, but I’m sending this anyway because I know your hearts will be with us in spirit. Or something less sappy. 

Post # 13
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@SapphireSun:  Lol sounds like he felt an invitation warranted a gift and either couldn’t or didn’t want to give one. Dont get me wrong I’m not saying that was why you wanted to send him one. Just thought it was a little funny. 

Post # 14
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@fzesguer:  strangely enough he did send a gift.  We invited all our first cousins, so we really did just want to include him.  I’m guessing its just a “why would I want a piece of paper” 24 year old guy thing.

Post # 15
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes … its the thought that if they could come  then you would have loved for them to be there , Im send ing so many invites to family in Jamaica that I know couldnt make it and although we all know they cant come if they never recieved an invite that would be offended . 

Strong YES !!!  

Post # 16
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@SapphireSun:  That is pretty strange, and awesome for a 24 year old guy to do. My Fiance is 26 and he probably wouldn’t send a gift to any of his first cousins; if asked or hassled by his parents, he’d lie and blame the USPS for losing it or something. Eh, then again he’s not real close to his family, or much of a polite person anyway.

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