- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hi everyone…i’m sorry I just think i need to vent….I broke up with my fiance 8 months ago. He was my first and only love, we dated over 5 years and were only engaged for about 4 months. We parted ways for many reasons and although I hope we made the right decision, obviously I still love him very much and still have horrible days where all I can do is cry over my loss. I have my sister for support and although i am feeling stronger about keeping it together, I do have bad days where I just want to collapse.
To make matters worse, my cousin is getting married very soon (i had my wedding date set for the same month as her) and everytime there’s something wedding related I just go into this deep depression. I had to back out of her bridal party because just the thought of being in a wedding made me want to cry, and today I went to her bachelorette brunch party. All I could think about was how if I had still been engaged this would have been my time for a bachelorette party and I would be stressing like her doing all those bridal things.
I can’t help but feel like i got gipped out of my time, and maybe this was my time and it got all messed up. I havent talked to my fiance since we broke up, and although i know we had problems and regardless of what happened between us, I still really miss him sometimes and I miss the closeness and friendship that we shared. I know getting back together with him would prob not be the best (i think?) but I can’t help but feel so sad all the time. I cant even imagine what I’ll be like on my cousins wedding day. I am happy for her really but I just cant shake this feeling of disappointment and regret.