(Closed) Still TTC ladies, how do you cope?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@DanielleZara: Nothing does. Well, hubby does. He says it will happen and if it dosen’t, we have other options and he loves me forever. That helps a little, but I hear ya. We have a baby shower next month for his unwed cousin. His other cousin’s fiance stopped wedding planning because they got pregnant. As happy as I am for them, I’m more miserable for me. I know that dosen’t help but you’re not alone in these feelings.

Post # 5
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@DanielleZara: No problem πŸ™‚ I often wonder what our lives will be like if we never have a child (either conventionally or by adopting). I imagine we’ll grow old and travel a lot and every time I see a baby I will cry. We want children so much but the fact that hubby is supportive rather than adding to my frustration makes a world of difference. We will seek out info on fertility treatments next month. However, I am 38 and it seems like this will never happen. I know my grandmother got pregnant at 48 but if that were to happen to me, I would be close to 70 when my child is only 20? It’s scary but thank you for posting this as we need to stick together πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

For me the first 6 months were the hardest.  Then, when I accepted that it won’t happen when I want it to, it’s been better.  I still don’t like hearing baby announcements.  But I’m able to still be happy for the person (which I wasn’t at first).  Another thing that helped was completely melting down when my younger sister got pregnant, but then she miscarried a week later.  Somehow that knocked some sense into me.

There’s no real solution though.  I think I’m not a complete mess because I truly still believe it will happen.  We are just starting the infertility phase (it’s been 11 months – doing testing starting this week).  If I’m still here in 6 months or a year I’m sure my hopefulness will be different.

Post # 7
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Not much really helps me feel better either! I’m beyond spent (both physically and emotionally) from one year of ttc and three surgeries, a miscarriage and now having to face IVF. My husband does help to some degree (he’s super supportive), but he doesn’t take the pain away. Nor the empty feeling that I have some days. It just sucks! Our infertility support group here on the Bee does cheer me up and keep me going some days, though. They are the best!

 

@DanielleZara: You are not alone!! There are so many of us going through this horrible, difficult road to motherhood.   ((hugs))

 

@Just_Squeeze: I agree we all need to stick together! I’ve thought of how my life would be without a baby and I can’t even imagine..  πŸ™

 

Post # 8
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Jenn23: I’m so sorry for your loss πŸ™ I would be devastated. I often feel like I’m failing as a wife even though Darling Husband tells me I’m being silly. But when he points out an infant in the grocery store, I know he longs to be a daddy. It’s hard all around.

Post # 9
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s just plain tough.  I’ll be 31 in a few weeks and literally all but ONE of my close friends is pregnant or has a newborn.  And my sister has two little ones.  We’ve been trying since January and I had a miscarriage in May.  I know that’s not as long as others and I don’t know of any problem that I have.  I feel silly for getting so upset over it, but can’t help it.  This is terrible to say, but I feel like a loser sometimes.

The saddest part is I feel like life is passing me by sometimes.  I am wishing the months away by two week increments instead of truly enjoying this time with my husband.  Don’t get me wrong, we have had plenty of fun the last six months – great vacations, great time with family and friends, lots of wine consumption…it just seems like every event and day and month is checked by the fact that I’m not pregnant…and everyone else is.

Post # 11
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@winniewolf: I am wishing the months away by two week increments instead of truly enjoying this time with my husband.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I am doing the same.

 

Post # 12
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@panterapeach: Same here. I wish I had a time machine and my dear husband when I was 26, not 36.

Post # 13
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@winniewolf: Oh man I know how you feel.  I thought I was the only one out there… I feel like time is just going by and I am standing still waiting for my life to happen.  My difference is, is that my husband is still on the fence about having kids right now.  He is on board for TTC but he is still on the rocks about it.  So when I  am upset when AF comes he doesnt really help comfort me.  He is fantastic, just not too sure about the whole thing yet.

Post # 16
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@DanielleZara: Amen. If, God forbid, we can’t conceive and can’t adopt, how angry will I be with myself for “missing out” on this first year of married life?

Not too long ago, I was almost hit by a bus. It was raining and my umbrella was on my right side protecting me from the wind and rain. I stepped off the curb just to fall backwards when a bus came speeding by. If I had stepped off that curb a few seconds earlier…you get the picture. So really, We should enjoy what time we have with our men and feel blessed should a baby come. However difficult it is, @DanielleZara: is right.

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