- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
aconnor82: You are prefectly entitled to your feelings. I will tell you I was and still a little bit resentful of my BIL’s parents. They were invited and treated like guests at BIL’s request to help watch our niece and nephew as the whole family was in the wedding. Niece was cranky at the start of photos so we have next to no photos with either our niece or nephew before the wedding and then they changed nephew out of his wedding clothes and took them out of the reception before dinner was even served.
I’m working really hard on getting over it. We had a wedding that everyone liked, in a place where we wanted it and there are tons of great moments with DH and I. Over all, looking back I’m very happy. Time fades a lot of the things you are orginally upset about, and I would bet by your first aniversary, you will forget 90% of the problems, or they will be funny stories.
You have every right to be upset but in the grand scheme of things, you’re married and had a great time! I have absolutely no pictures of the beautiful brooch bouquet I made, ring shots, and only 2 family shots (we eloped with our moms) so I had to spend more money and buy those shots from the portrait session we had with the chapel (I paid for a photographer to take us around town). The photographer at the chapel took better, artsy pix than the professional photographer! We only have 130 pix and they’re mostly the same poses! And he did not direct us at all so they are all just us looking at the camera or away. I was mad for a while but I’m over it now. In the end, you can’t change things. You’ll forget about it in time.
You’ve every right to feel upset but truthfully, there will come a point when it’ll be healthy to get past these relatively minor issues. Right now they aren’t relatively minor to you and that’s understandable. However, in defence of your photographer, you did give permission for him to take shots of your aunt and her family. He was only doing what he assumed was OK. It was, of course, an enormous cheek of your aunt to take advantage of a free portrait shoot!
It is a cliche I know but ultimately, your marriage is more important than your wedding day. Time has a habit of putting things into perspective too and hopefully your happy marriage will more than make up for the few things that weren’t absolutely perfect on the day.
Can I just say that when I read the headline of this post I thought that it could have been me who wrote it?! I can sympathize with you and probably one up you on the things that went wrong at my wedding 2 weeks ago:
1. My photographer went to the wrong venue about 4 hours away. He called me and lied about it, saying that he got a flat tire. He missed out on all the getting ready photos and video. He showed up about 30 minutes before the ceremony in time to do first looks. We don’t have any of the girls and I getting ready really, I have a few of them pretending to help me into my dress and there are none of the guys at all.
4. My aunt spent all this time creating a slideshow of photos of my fiancé(husband) and I. She took up my time, my parents time and his parents time searching for all these photos. The slideshow was supposed to run during the cocktail hour. Well my aunt was late for the wedding and missed the ceremony and most of the cocktail hour. Then she walked up to me during the reception and asked when she could show me the sideshow……
5. During our first dance my husband dipped me, when I came back up my heel caught in my dress and ripped out the bustle and made me fall in front of everyone, yep its caught on camera.
6. Lots of little things, My nephews tux didn’t fit- he is 3 so not a huge deal but we had to let the hem out of his pants since they were about 3 inches too short. Also it was really windy during the ceremony and a piece of hair kept flying into my face and getting caught in my lip-gloss. The event planner put out the escort cards during the ceremony so people were taking them then instead of at the reception. I spent days on a seating chart and it was totally messed up and people were sat in the wrong places, my aunt and uncle were in my parents seats and refused to get up for a long time.
7. This is a big one…. one of the groomsmen set off fireworks, they were stunning and amazing until the event planner came screaming into the venue that there was a FIRE and everyone needed to leave… that was how my wedding ended.
There are so many things that didn’t go right, little things I want to change. I keep dreaming about doing it all over but the fact is that I can’t and I can’t dwell on it, I just have to let it go and know that it went as well as it could have. I hope that you can feel the same way!
It really is crazy how much time, energy, and money goes into one day. There is so much pressure on the bride to have everthing perfect. Just remember – you are the only one that cares that much!
Another thing that I keep obsessing over – my bridesmaids didn’t wear the jewelry I purchased for them! Even if they didn’t like it – I will be staring at these photos forever! How rude.
the marriage is more important than your wedding. don’t let this get to you.
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