Still waiting and I can't stop pestering

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

notmeeither :  sassy411 :  +1000  Nail on the head. Sorry Bee, truly, because this sucks, but your ass-dragging guy is so textbook on this he’s a Waiting board cliche. 

And don’t you dare put this on you saying you’re ‘pestering’ him. Let’s get this straight- asking him multiple times doesn’t make you a nag. Asking him multiple times means he hasn’t kept his word and his lack of action is keeping this issue on the front burner. So this continues to be a pressing issue for you because you’re – very understandably- becoming increasingly confused/ disappointed/resentful/uncertain. This is your FUTURE you’re worrying about and it’s because of him that you’re in this position so don’t blame yourself for one single millisecond. 

And the ‘surprise’ ship sailed years ago and he’s the one who let it sail. How on earth can he expect you to be all shocked and “omg I did NOT see this coming!’ undecided

Post # 18
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee

princesspeach89 :  if you’ve been to the jeweller together and you’ve sent him the ring you want I think something is happening. When did you look at rings?

Post # 20
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

princesspeach89 :  Okay so does he know your timeline of June? Was this something you agreed upon together? 

Post # 21
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

princesspeach89 :  If you didn’t ring shop until February how could you have ruined a surprise? Unless you mean this has all been occurring over the past month. 

Post # 23
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

princesspeach89 :  Bee I’m sorry you’re going through this.  When I read these types of stories the main thing that comes to mind is – why does getting engaged have to be such a big production? personally I would feel the same way as you – id appreciate that my fiance has a plan BUT once he sees how hurt and sad I am for waiting Id want him to just do it already forget the plan make breakfast present me with the ring bang! It bothers me that hed rather make you wait for his perfect plan (if one is even in the works) over making you happy because clearly this isn’t making you happy.  I agree with PP if by June you get nothing leave because after 1 year me and my fiance were discussing our marriage future and we both made it clear that we found our forevers after 2.5 years of being together he proposed.  No one needs 10 years to do propose  when they know ugh.

Post # 25
Member
89 posts
Worker bee

You guys have discussed it.  Give him until June and that is it.  You have set a deadline and stick to it and drop it.  If he truly is planning on proposing and wants it to be a surprise then you continuously bringing it up will ruin the surprise and he might just do it to make you stop bugging him which is a propsal that you dont want.

If you gave him the deadline of june and he doesnt propose then you have to move out and move on.  I am divorced because my ex husband was full of empty promises.  He had a bad habit of promising me things only because that is what he thought i wanted to hear.  And trust me, being in a relationship full of empty promises is not a relationship that you want to be in.

Post # 26
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

You cried in front of him and he didn’t even comfort you?

I know you’ve invested a lot of time and emotions in this relationship, but are you sure you want to marry this guy who knows how much you’re hurting but wouldn’t propose? 

Post # 27
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

I would have moved on years ago if marriage was that important. If he wanted to marry he would propose on his own. 

Post # 28
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

lovegrowshere :  

Omg.. I am in the same situation as you. My bf and I have been together for 9.5 years and we just finished the e-ring shopping last week. I expected the ring to be done in another week or two because it’s custom made. But I have gave him a deadline until beginning of this June or I will not be very nice to him.

Post # 29
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

If he cares and afraid to lose you he will propose by your deadline. But have you ask him why is he waiting for so long? Maybe he has other reasons than wanting it to be perfect? I don’t know.. it’s tough to guess what guys are really thinking. He might be nervous or still searching for the right ring. You should calmly discuss it with him. He might open up and let you know the real reason why he hasn’t propose yet.

Post # 30
Member
307 posts
Helper bee

Was the June date agreed by both or was it an ultimatum?

You made a similar post few months ago. Why are you pestering daily when youve already given him a deadline? Theres even a chance he had it planned one day but you brought it up so he didnt. Leave it alone. 

Youre 28, put on your big girls undie and quit pestering him until end of given deadline. If he doesnt propose by then, have one last serious talk and if he doesnt drop to his knee then, walk away.

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