Still want to wear my rings.

posted 3 months ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
9213 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ahsoka :  “We left each other with words of the deepest love on both sides, and this is something I envision turning one day back into close friendship, as that was the strongest thing we had.”

I really don’t think you should be thinking about this right now. This guy broke up with more than once, the latest only a month before your wedding and (based on your other post) seemingly out of the blue. You are (and rightfully so!) hurting, and maybe it somehow helps you cope by holding onto some kind of hope that not all is lost and you guys will be close friends again one day, but I think that mentality will ultimately hold you back from standing on your own two feet again and being in the position where you are ready to find someone who truly wants to spend their life with you, not someone who has a proven track record of leaving you hanging.

Personally, I would mentally close the door on him entirely right now. If, by chance, you two stumble across one another one day and can be friends, great. But for the time being, cut thoughts of that out and focus on yourself and your healing. I hope you find peace and closure soon.

Post # 17
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

When my first marriage ended I was distraught.  A real mess.   But that ring made me so sad.  I’d try it on every so often and it was so painful.  A reminder of loss and betrayal.   Eventually I sold it to a nice older couple who seemed really happy.  I gave that gorgeous ring a new happy life. And got some money I needed. 

Do what’s right for you!  You’ll be ready to let go eventually.  I wouldn’t keep something painful as a RHR.  Get yourself a new piece for your new chapter.   I hope you find some peace bee.  New better things will be coming for you when you’re ready.

Post # 18
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

You should do what feels right for you and what you are comfortable with. I’m sure one day it won’t feel right to wear it anymore but for now it does and I think that’s perfectly natural. 

I do like the suggestions of getting yourself something new to wear on your left hand at some point, something that is just about you that can signify your strength, but only when you are ready. 

Again I am so sorry Bee. I am thinking of you and sending you so much love. Take your time and make the steps when you are ready x

Post # 19
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

Honestly? I dont think it’s healthy to have anything of his close to you now. Shut the door. Keep it shut. Go cold turkey. Put the rings away for a year or two and then reevaluate. You will probably find that they dont give you the same feeling.

Then sell them. It’s not good to keep things around given to you by people who treat you like crap. And make no mistake, breaking up with you at the 11th hour is most definitely treating you like crap. Dont lose sight of that in all the romantic maybe we’ll be friends one day thoughts. Because if you’re very lucky you’ll never see him again. He’s bad for you and you’re still very weak.

 

Post # 20
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

You do whatever makes you comfortable. As you can see from previous comments that the answers are vastly different. I kept my ring from a previous broken engagement. Diamonds have terrible resale anyway. Eventually, 3-4 years later, I had the diamond put in another setting for a right hand ring. It’s a symbol to me that I can get through anything.

Post # 21
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: By the lake

I’m sure it’s a beautiful ring and if you want to wear them to make you happy, then wear them.   He gave it to you and wanted you to keep it.  I don’t think it’s wrong to wear it.   Just keep blinging the ring out!  You deserve to fancy your ring finger. 

Post # 22
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should not wear the rings.

I know you’re hurting, but I don’t think wearing your engagement ring will help you feel better. If anything, I would think it will make u feel worse. It’s a constant reminder of your broken relationship and that you are not engaged to be married despite wearing a symbol of that commitment. How painful.

Instead of tethering yourself to this piece of jewelry that’s weighing you down, you should free yourself of the baggage associated with it and start fresh. Buy a different kind of RHR to commit to yourself and your healing, or get a tattoo. Do something for you, that will remind you of you, not him. 

I think you are wanting to wear your rings for the wrong reasons. I think you are struggling with the reality of it all (which is completely understandable) and you are holding some hope that it isn’t real and using the ring as a clutch to escape reality. 

I think the sooner you come to terms with it all and the sooner you free yourself from the rings, the better off you will be. Going cold turkey is SO HARD but you will heal so much faster. 

 

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