Stock the Tree Engagement Party

posted 3 months ago in Parties
Post # 16
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

honeybee2020 :  the cheap side of me wonders, “how many gift giving events will there be?”

 

Post # 17
Member
47201 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

In many areas,including mine, it is only just becoming acceptable for couples to host their own engagement party. Add in asking those guests, not only to bring gifts, but specific gifts?

It’s a no from me.

It would work for a shower.

Post # 19
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think it’s too late to be considered an engagement party. Also, I’ve never been to an engagement party that expected a gift explicitly. That’s kind of a turn off for me. I typically will bring a bottle of wine or something, but this sounds more like a shower idea than an engagement party. 

Post # 20
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

In terms of timing, I think it depends on the circle. Some people I know have had engagement parties in the weeks following their engagement, and these have been held at home, in village halls or they have hired out areas of a bar or restaurant.

Other people I know (in my cultural/religious/family circles) have had larger parties in private venues with bands and catering etc. These have been several months after the engagement, due to planning time.

Same goes for gift giving – I think whether an engagement is a gift-worthy event largely varies circle to circle and is based on various factors. We did not expect any presents at all, but all of my Jewish family and family friends asked us if we had a registry!

If for your crowd this would be a gift-giving occasion, I think it’s a really nice idea and actually think it would be super fun to do this in the summer! Christmas in summer would be a hoot, and I think it is quite easy to get ornaments online any time of year.

Post # 21
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

honeybee2020 :  sometimes the gift itself is the cheapest. For example, to go to your wedding related events, I have to hire a sitter, where I live, that’s $20/hour.

I think it’s a cute idea for the shower. 

 

Post # 22
Member
8815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

honeybee2020 :  “I’m not out to ask people to spend a lot of money.” — Yeah but why are you asking them to spend ANY money on you? If they want to they will. You are basically saying “I made a decision that most other adults also make at some point in their life. I haven’t even ACTED on the decision yet, but I’ve made it, so will you buy me a tchotchke now? No, not a picture frame, THIS specific kind of tchotchke! You can buy me the other thing for one of my many other parties celebrating this decision. K thx bye.” Yuck, not cool.

Post # 24
Member
19 posts
Newbee

honeybee2020 :  I honestly can’t believe the snark either! If your friend suggested it then I think it would be fine within your circle… You can just make it fun.. have a tree set up on the day and ask guests to bring a token of well wishes to celebrate your love and decorate the tree. An ornament is like $5 – $10. It’s less expensive than inviting guests to a themed costume party! I personally think it’s super cute as every year when you decorate your christmas tree you can remember the start of your new life together. And hopefully not remember this board lol wink

Post # 25
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

honeybee2020 :  Try not to let the comments bother you… a lot of people on this forum get WAY too caught up in “proper ettiquette” and are quick to jump down peoples throats. It’s easy for strangers to tell you your idea is rude and inappropriate, but I think a lot of times it really comes down to knowing your crowd.

Like, this isn’t that serious.. it’s meant to be fun and you’re not asking a lot of your guests. I can’t imagine being offended by this if one of my friends did it.

 

Post # 27
Member
787 posts
Busy bee

I do think that is too late for an engagement party. I also think it’s cringy to ask for a specific gift even if the gift is cheap. Not trying to be snarky just honest. 

Post # 28
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

A honey doo for a man’s shower??

Post # 29
Member
2760 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Sorry NO gifts typically for an engagement party… that would be cute for a bridal/ couple *shower* though. Expecting to receive gifts at *3* separate events celebrating marriage (wedding,  a shower and now evenfor engagement too?! ) could be/will be construed as greedy. Read-I’m not saying here that you’re greedy!  Nicer ornaments are not cheap!. In addition some guests are going to be ponying up for a bachelorette for  you too… that would be 4 events to come out of pocket for!

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