Post # 1
Ok so my fiancÃ©es brother got engaged one month after us and then took our church and wedding one month before us after asking if it was ok and we declined but didn’t care we thought it was wrong to be so close even though he asked our permission haha.
Now my future sister-in-law wants me to go to her hens and talk about wedding stuff. Like umm no you might steal my dress or other things. Before they got engaged I was going to have her as my bridesmaid but not after rejecting our feelings. I don’t mind they got engaged but one month before and our church and venue? Come on???
So should I go to the hens night? I liked her before she totally disregarded our feelings about the wedding but should I keep a grudge like that?
Post # 3
I would so not want to go, but I’dprobably suck it up. And then use that extra month to make sure my wedding was better than hers in every way. You steal my church and venue you better be prepared for the consequences. “I’m saying your wedding should watch its back…”
Post # 4
I think you should go, but just let her talk. If she asks specific questions just deflect. “We haven’t decided yet,” or “I want to keep my dress a surprise!” I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favours by holding a grudge, though I’ll admit, I’d be pissed too.
Post # 5
Or you could find something really tacky and convince her to do it by saying you’re going to have it…
Naw just kidding, but I would go, to keep the peace, and if she asks for details I’d just tell her you want it to be a surprise. I”m blunt like that though. Good luck!
Post # 6
I’m sorry I am confused, did they ask you if they can use your venue? How would you attending her hen’s result in her steeling your dress ideas??
And what do you mean when you said that they were ‘ rejecting our feelings’ ?
I’d love to give some advice but I am struggling to understand.
Post # 7
So the way I am understanding it is that they asked you if it was okay, but then proceeded anyway when you said it was not ok?! Yeah… that would annoy me, especially with it being in the same family. What other elements besides church and venue did they “steal”? My guess is that your wedding will still be unique and people will care about it just as much as if it was first.
I would go to the hen night. It’s a little crappy what they did but it sounds like they wrestled with the decision, but ultimately did what they either wanted or needed to do (perhaps that was the only date that worked for her family/people special to them. Maybe jobs, school, venue availability restricted their schedule? The bottom line is that the engagement/wedding is such a small chunk of your life and she will your SIL for possibly the rest of your life…
Post # 8
Yes they asked If it was ok to have the wedding so close. Not about the church and venue. We said no we dont think its ok and they just said too bad we Will anyway. And infron of the In laws when we announced were changing ventes they said “If thats What you want and Will make you Happy” Omg we want you to move your wedding not us!!! If there was a good reason why they needed it then we would understand. But there isn’t. There just wanting to be first.
Yes But i agree. I guess I will have to go but she is have a trip overseas so it’s going to cost money ontop of all my wedding expenses and so on but if it will keep the peace…
Post # 9
Well, a wedding is a wedding. It lasts one day. A family and the relationships you build during the engagment period totally outweigh any feeling that they “stole” a wedding.
I’m one of the few who believe that no one can actually steal your wedding. Trends are SO popular these days and with the internet and communication between brides and blogs more and more popular, ideas are never really unique.
I would be miffed that they didn’t consider your feelings when picking their dates, but unless there is some drama you are not talking about, I would make it water under the bridge and try to enjoy your time as a bride.