(Closed) “stole” wedding now wants to go to hens night

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee

I would so not want to go, but I’dprobably suck it up. And then use that extra month to make sure my wedding was better than hers in every way. You steal my church and venue you better be prepared for the consequences. “I’m saying your wedding should watch its back…”

Post # 4
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should go, but just let her talk. If she asks specific questions just deflect. “We haven’t decided yet,” or “I want to keep my dress a surprise!” I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favours by holding a grudge, though I’ll admit, I’d be pissed too.

Post # 5
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Or you could find something really tacky and convince her to do it by saying you’re going to have it…

Naw just kidding, but I would go, to keep the peace, and if she asks for details I’d just tell her you want it to be a surprise. I”m blunt like that though. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m sorry I am confused, did they ask you if they can use your venue? How would you attending her hen’s result in her steeling your dress ideas?? 

And what do you mean when you said that they were ‘ rejecting our feelings’ ?

I’d love to give some advice but I am struggling to understand.

Post # 7
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So the way I am understanding it is that they asked you if it was okay, but then proceeded anyway when you said it was not ok?! Yeah… that would annoy me, especially with it being in the same family. What other elements besides church and venue did they “steal”? My guess is that your wedding will still be unique and people will care about it just as much as if it was first.

I would go to the hen night. It’s a little crappy what they did but it sounds like they wrestled with the decision, but ultimately did what they either wanted or needed to do (perhaps that was the only date that worked for her family/people special to them. Maybe jobs, school, venue availability restricted their schedule? The bottom line is that the engagement/wedding is such a small chunk of your life and she will your SIL for possibly the rest of your life…

Post # 9
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well, a wedding is a wedding. It lasts one day. A family and the relationships you build  during the engagment period totally outweigh any feeling that they “stole” a wedding. 

I’m one of the few who believe that no one can actually steal your wedding. Trends are SO popular these days and with the internet and communication between brides and blogs more and more popular, ideas are never really unique. 

I would be miffed that they didn’t consider your feelings when picking their dates, but unless there is some drama you are not talking about, I would make it water under the bridge and try to enjoy your time as a bride. 

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