(Closed) Stomaching the idea that our wedding will cost over 25K…

posted 5 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Total cost of facility fee, food and beverage, rentals (tables chairs etc) cleanup, in Bay Area?
    $0 - $10,000 : (33 votes)
    24 %
    $10,000 - $15,000 : (19 votes)
    14 %
    $15,000 - $20,000++ : (63 votes)
    46 %
    You're crazy, just elope! : (23 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    33 posts


    Yes, and don’t forget tips for vendors and bartenders, and wedding coordinator at your venue.  Unbelievable!  Everyone wants a tip for doing their job these days.  Geeze!  Expenses are non stop and even though I said I would never spend 20,00 on a wedding it will probably be closer to 25,000 when all is said and done.  We are in the Pittsburgh area….I never expected these kind of prices.

    I have heard that if you could do a Friday wedding, big discounts are possible. Also, cruise around the weddingbee boards….I found lots of tips for saving money.


    Post # 4
    3830 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It really depends where you live.  I’m having a wedding for 225 ppl and it will cost about $40,000. But i live in rural Canada so the halls probably arent as elaborate. 

    Either way, the cost of a wedding theses days made me want to elope, BAD. But my fiancee really wanted the party so i gave in. 

    Post # 5
    9682 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @Soon-to-be-Mrs-Fisher:  I would just elope. That is a lot of money that could be redirected into a house or other long term goals (though maybe you are already set with all of that). That seems insane to me but my elopement is costing under $2,000.

    Post # 6
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Soon-to-be-Mrs-Fisher:  Yep, that seems about right!  It’s soooo stressful to look at all of the numbers at once instead of making decisions one by one, but I have to believe that it’ll pay off over the long run.

    Is having a conventional wedding important to you?  Do you have the money?  If the answer to both of those questions is “yes,” then take a deep breath and just accept it.  If the cost of a wedding isn’t going to impact your financial position, then spend the money–that’s what it’s for!

    If you don’t have the money or if it isn’t what you want, don’t do it!

    Post # 7
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We eloped and took the monthlong honeymoon. 

    I’d do it if you still can, it was awesome.

    Post # 8
    12005 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Soon-to-be-Mrs-Fisher:  i’m in Toronto, Canada. 

    So far here’s our tally

    Venue: $2100 + tax (includes tables only)

    Catering for 100 ppl (hors d’ouvres, 3 course meal, late night snack) – $4920 +tax

    Rentals (chairs, linens, dishes, serveware) – $3955 + tax

    Staffing – $4895 + tax

    we haven’t got liquor yet but when you add in taxes and gratuities we’re at $21,369.66 and there’s a whole lot of stuff yet to get. That number makes me a little sick to my stomach, I can’t deny that…

    Post # 9
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would suggest to have the wedding in the winter. That is when it is the lowest.

    Post # 10
    3731 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Soon-to-be-Mrs-Fisher:  Seems on par with my location. My venue is $4K, catering and open bar $15K, add in all of that other stuff and we’re sitting at $28K easy. We are trying to keep it to $30K max. To think I initially thought we could do it all for $15K the way we wanted to shows how much I didn’t know about wedding costs.


    Post # 11
    9575 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My total is about $22,000.  Of course, if it was all my money I would be eloping!  But a lot of it is my parents and they certainly aren’t just going to give me cash.  But yeah, sounds about right for a decently nice wedding.  I’m having 85-100 people.

    Post # 12
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Have you checked out APW? They have featured a few SF area weddings on a budget, and their vendor directory may be helpful. Also, have you looked at restaurants and b&bs? They may have lower minimums and fees.

    By The Way… I’m in the DC area. Your costs are not out of line with HCOL areas like these.

    Post # 14
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My wedding is in the Massachusetts “Bay Area” but I thought I’d join your thread – the prices here are pretty outrageous as well.

    I think some other bees have said this, but if you want the wedding, it’s okay to want it, you just have to be okay with paying for it too.  Yes, there are some great money-saving tips on the boards. But, you’ll never have the $30k wedding for $5k, I don’t care how many flowers you DIY. 

    On the “wedding” vs. “elope” I think that’s something you can think about with your fiance.  I am not sure why but the idea of eloping didn’t cross my mind until recently ( and not as a serious idea, just that with our wedding <1month away I’m getting a bit nuts and escaping it sounds nice)  My friend did elope and they are having a “post-elopement celebration” anyway.  So, eloping takes the time pressure off planning a wedding, but I think many people who elope still have a big party at some point.  So you could save money but maybe not as much as you think.

    Post # 16
    27 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @applehilluser:  Where are you having your reception? I’m from Pittsburgh as well and my fiance and I chose to have ours at the Priory. We opted to have our wedding on a Friday instead of a Saturday because the minimum dropped from $15k to $9k — although given the prices, we’ll probably end up spending over $15k on the venue anyway. Tack on another $10k for the remaining expenses and $5k for the honeymoon and BOOM. $30k.

    Eloping sure is tempting 🙂

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