(Closed) Stop asking us!!

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OMG, are you serious?  Is that what I should expect after I get married?  I know it’s going to be worse for me because FH and I are planning on waiting at least 2 years after we get married to start having kids.

Post # 33
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Rabbit: That’s the only thing I can figure, that it’s a family-expanding issue.

I guess it’s something I won’t understand until I’m a parent… I don’t understand what’s so great about a bigger family (can you tell I didn’t have one?/whatever we did have sucked?) and what the joy associated with it is.

I wish I could. The best I can do is pretend that it’s like the joy of being engaged… of making your own little family. Technically, the family of one is increasing by one, so I try to imagine that it’s like that.

Other than expanding family happiness and the odd small talk, I have no idea. Especially since my Fiance didn’t see it as small talk – he saw it as actual “happy” talk. Plus it happened when I wasn’t around, so, no small talk involved.

Post # 34
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We get asked all the time but I have baby fever so I’m more than happy to tell them what names I picked out, when we’re having them, etc. I’m borderline How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days where she makes a photo album of their future kids…. I know I have problems. But it is kind of intrusive, I just think it’s something to ask a newlywed couple and people don’t really think of it like that.

Post # 35
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

OMG Mr. Bee!

I could see how that would make them quiet…

 

We got asked last night from some friends that are our age but have been married for a couple of years.  In that setting it’s fine but if either of our families start aasking I’m going to get upset.  Ultimatly it’s our decision and ours alone and when we’re ready to share with anyone what our timeline is, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Post # 36
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s so rude.  And nobody’s business.  Luckily we haven’t gotten it too much yet; probably because when we DID get it, I responded with ‘what makes you think we’re having children at all?’.  Soooo that might be why it stopped so quickly.  but ya, the few times I got asked about babies was before our wedding even happened. 

Post # 37
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

At Christmas last year, my aunt gestured toward my cousin’s son (who was happily playing by himself) and said “B needs some cousins to play with!!” and then stared pointedly at my cousin and me.  I was still dating the boy at the time and she wasn’t dating anyone.  We were both like “TIME OUT!!” 

Now that we’re engaged, we’ve only been asked a few times and have managed to make a joke out of it — because in life, it really never stops.  “When are you going to find a nice man/get married/have a baby/have another baby/stop having babies…” Ugh.   

Post # 38
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

That’s really awful. My husband and I haven’t gotten any of this kind of pressure, not about getting married or about having kids. I could tell when we announced our engagement that there was some “relief” from the parents, but they were all wise enough to keep their mouths shut and let us be while we were dating. That must really put a lot of pressure on people!

@MercedesAshley: I know what you mean about the steps. In highschool if people asked my sisters and I why we didn’t have boyfriends my parents (usually my father) would interject that we had much more important things, like getting good grades and going to college, to occupy our time. That usually shut people the hell up. If I was alone when asked that, I would take the lead from my parents and answer the same way. Hehe.

Post # 39
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Thankfully we’re not getting asked outright yet. So far it’s a “hopefully there will be children soon” sort of wistful comments hanging in the air. I think, since we eloped, we scared them all out of asking us directly. They’re probably afraid we’ll go off and have kids by ourselves and never share the grandchildren!

Post # 40
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh I usually say I am eight months pregnant right now.  Usually they get the hint.  LOL

Post # 41
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore

We just bought a house and its been “when are you getting a dog?”  Now that we’re engaged they want to know about babies.   WE don’t even know!  Its such an insensitive issue to bring up anyway with all the reproductively challenged couples out there.  Keep on not answering!!  Maybe we’ll all get the point across to these people. 

Post # 42
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yep,  we’re getting it before we’re married too.  We’re not going to have kids so it’s a difficult conversation to have with people. I’ve learned to just be stern and to the point, change the subject and move on.

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