(Closed) STOP fat shaming brides.

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 92
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CookieCharmer:  I’m doing it this Friday. We get donuts at work every Friday. This is happening.

Post # 93
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Yeah, even my Fiance is in on it a little bit, and he’s normally very feminist and pro-body confidence. I even have less than 15lbs I would lose, IF I want and have the time to lose them.

Why is this treated as a given, rather than an “if”? Why do people assume that I should be on a diet now just because I’m engaged? I’ve never been on a diet because I don’t think they work except for to give people bad body esteem. Ditto compulsive exercise. Why is being engaged suddenly this rite where everyone triples the pressure on you to develop a body image disorder?!

Why is “bridal bootcamp” and women passing out from lack of nutrition trying to fit in a smaller sized dress an OK thing culturally, instead of a sign of a serious problem?

Makes me not want to budge my weight at all, or even gain weight in defiance. But sometimes I mostly forget all this and think of the fact that I’d like to be a little more toned, for me. Not for ….I don’t even know who… the disembodied judgemental eye that I’ll be under as a bride or something?? Because I’m not good enough to be a bride the way I am?! …But just for me. And that disembodied eye can go and stick it where the sun don’t shine.

Post # 94
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Couldn’t agree more OP ! Thank you so much for posting this !

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man at a wedding a month ago and the MOB had the guts to tell me that I should stop drinking beer as I would never fit into my wedding dress ! BURN !

How is that even of your business ?! People can be really hurtful and stupid sometimes !

Post # 95
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007

I 100% agree with the OP. I did not read any other comments after OP. I was 150 lbs and 5’5″ at my wedding, and I was content. I do feel like I need to lose weight, but even now, much after my wedding, I have comments from family/friends that “I need to get a little slimmer” and this great one from my mother, “You don’t want to be bigger than me, do you?” IT’S SO FRUSTRATING. If everyone were made to feel beautiful simply because they are beautiful, things would be so different.

 

Okay, now editing to add that since I’ve read follow up posts, I’m sitting at my desk crying. I’ve been so ashamed of my body now, since I used to sit at 105 lbs even. I haven’t even bought a bikini because I don’t want to buy a size 8/10 due to all the pressure my mother and family have put on me recently. I have stretch marks on my inner and outer thighs from gaining weight (not from having a baby) and I feel so embarrassed. Now that I’ve read the other posts, I’m going to go buy my first bikini I’ve had in 2 years and embrace it!

 

 

Post # 96
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Great post, OP!

I don’t really have any weight to lose, yet it is pissing me off as well. People ask me too if I’m trying to lose weight for the wedding. A) Are you freaking nuts? No, I do not want to be underweight for my wedding, and B) What’s it to you?!?! Mind your own business please, thank you.

Post # 97
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

you can’t see me, but im slow clapping over here

Post # 98
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsPanda99:  I agree with you. Stores vanity size all the time. I can hardly fit into clothes in some stores because they are made too big. Not trying to be rude, but I think that the whole clothing industry in general needs to be more conform on their sizing. 

Post # 99
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@FoxyBride14:  Exactly. And thank you, vanity sizes is exactly the term I was looking for. If you’re a size 12, then you’re a size 12. I’m not sure why it would feel better to wear a size 8 if it’s not accurate. It isn’t doing anyone any favours and sort of perpetuates an unhealthy stereotype. I don’t feel the size I am now is acceptable (a 10, even if I can “fit into” 8s in some stores). The whole industry is crazy.

Post # 100
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Okay, I’m actually quite skinny, and I’ve once been underweight (and trust me, EVERYTHING tastes better than underweight feels).  But I’m also really, really sick of the weight-policing, and body-shaming that brides are subjected to.

 

Look, your husband is marrying YOU.  Not a model.  He’s seen you dolled up.  He’s seen you at your worst, sick and snotty and nauseous and sweaty.  He loves YOU.  He has accepted your appearance.  He embraces it every day.  He literally, physically embraces it because he loves you.  He loves your figure, no matter your size.  It doesn’t matter to him if you’re 80 pounds or 180 pounds.  It doesn’t matter to him if your skin isn’t the lovely, tanned, flawless bronze it’s supposed to be.  It doesn’t fucking matter.  The WIC is so out-of-control because it has made us forget what weddings are really about.  They’re not about showing off for other people.  They are not all about the pictures.  They are not about themes or photo booths or trends or the bride’s appearance.  They’re about love and about you and your husband and the commitment you’re making to each other, FOR LIFE.  

 

I actually cried writing that paragraph because despite the fact my FH tells me every day I’m beautiful, appearing to totally ignore my bony shoulders, tiny boobs, out-of-shape abs, chicken skin, acne scars, rosacea and ginger skin, I still have a hard time believing him because of all the horrible things I’ve been told about my looks over the years. 

Post # 101
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@stefanielovesjamie:  Oh dear… I am so sorry you’ve been made to feel so bad about yourself. I hope you DO go buy yourself a bikini and rock the SHIT out of it! Sending you so many virtual hugs!!

Post # 102
Member
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i get asked quite often if i’m planning to lose weight before my wedding. when i was shopping, every single consultant i had asked. and when i said “nope, i’m happy the way i am”, i got looks. i even had one say “well, that’s just silly.” to my face. so yeah. it’s absurd, and i hate it too.

i’m going to be a fat bride, and i’m not upset about it. if i lose weight between now and the wedding? great. if i don’t? that’s fine. my dress fits me now. i’m not all that concerned. i would, ideally, like to lose between 20 and 30 pounds. just because i’m feeling it in my knees (i’m probably hovering between 280 and 290 right now, i don’t own a scale), and i’d love to not worry about being uncomfortable. but if it doesn’t happen? so be it. like i said, i know i’m gonna be a fat bride. i’m not phased by it.

Post # 103
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@CookieCharmer:  @vorpalette:  I was fortunate enough to be eating a donut AS I READ THIS THREAD. I just tested the microwave theory and can confirm: YES, IT TASTES BETTER. (omg really it’s amazing WHY had I never tried this before?!?)

What really irritates me are the Facebook ads for weight loss products that have shown up since I changed my status to engaged. If they were ads for the gym, I’d feel better about it. But no, my wedding prep does not include subsisting on strange protein drinks for the next eighteen months!

Post # 104
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kittyfinn:  So many crying women over this post! I hope you are able to truly believe what you are writing. I hope that you can get past all the horrible crap people and the media have told us over the years. Virtual hugs to you too! 

Post # 105
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t know if anyone else knows who Tess Munster is, but she is amazeballs. This is from her Facebook fan page (and yes, that’s her in the pic)

Post # 106
Hostess
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@bretonvirgniia:  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your post. I told myself I wasn’t going to worry about losing weight for the big day but during one of my last dress fittings the boutique made a fuss about “not gaining any weight” and I ended up forcing myself to lose around 10 pounds or so.

I also feel that sometimes on WB and in life the thin brides get the acclaim, the praise and the “you are so gorgeous” more so than the heavier brides. Call me sensitive but that is what I have observed. It sucks, it really does.

The topic ‘STOP fat shaming brides.’ is closed to new replies.

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