(Closed) Stop inviting guests to other peoples weddings! Rant with a question at the end!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

It depends on whether you are having a buffet or a plated dinner.  For one extra guest on a buffet,  I wouldn’t bother. 


Re: open seating- are you at least assigning tables? 

Post # 4
9947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

I have planned many an event and YES you need to be above board and inform the Venue of your Final Numbers when you know them (UP or DOWN)

Most Caterers build in a few extra incase of last minute additions OR a member of their wait staff drops a tray

But still, the right and courteous thing to do is keep the Venue abreast of the numbers

I get that you are too frazzled at this time to say anything to your Brother-In-Law & SIL and their Son

BUT for the record, what they have done is VERY RUDE

“One shall not invite thyself or anyone else to a Wedding”

It is one of the first rules of being a GOOD GUEST. 

Your Brother-In-Law & SIL get a FAILING Grade on this.

Sorry… (( HUGS ))

Hope this helps,


Post # 6
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I definitely would inform the caterer accordingly, since they likely are charging you per person.

Post # 7
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@SkyChick:  Kudos on handling that graciously. I would have flat out refused to let the girlfriend attend. I would have said, “Sorry, but my final numbers are in, and cannot change. We weren’t aware he had a gf when the invitations went out.”

However, I disagree with your fiance, you should definitely tell the venue about one additional guest, no matter if you’re paying per person or not. It’s better for the venue to have more information than to be surprised on the day of and have to adjust their plans accordingly.

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