(Closed) stop inviting yourself to my wedding!!!!!! (rant/long)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite this cousin?
    yes : (1 votes)
    4 %
    no : (26 votes)
    93 %
    I like a good poll! : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 4
    696 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would say no don’t invite him, it is just not worth the possible drama and if you don’t like him you don’t want to invite him back into your life by having him there on one of your most special days. Also you have a good out since he didn’t invite you to his wedding.

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Oh I totally feel you! In the past week, I’ve had not one, but TWO people invite themselves to my wedding by saying “well i better be invited to your wedding!!” or “I better get an invitation!”

    I’m not even engaged yet!!

    People are so rude! Anyways, I wouldn’t invite them. If you weren’t planning on inviting them in the first place, their rudeness shouldn’t change their invite status, IMO. If you aren’t worried about pissing him off, just tell him he’s not invited! If you want to be a little more passive about it, just say your guest list is small and you’ve already invited as many people as your venue can hold, but you’re very sorry. Or, you can just ignore his email and he will figure it out when he doesn’t get an invitation!

    Would he even go to the wedding if he was invited? I don’t think I would travel transatlantic to go to a cousin’s wedding I haven’t seen in 10 years (ETA: I guess I’m assuming you live in the states…)

    Post # 7
    2718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I wouldn’t invite him. There were some step-cousins that we didn’t invite (only seen them once or twice), and we invited one of the cousins in the family and the mom, but those are the ones that we’ve seen most and are close to the rest of the cousins (they all live in Cincinnati & St. Louis). We honestly didn’t care what they thought since we don’t see them, not close to them, and honestly could care less.

    Post # 8
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Glasgowbound:  Unfortunately I guess it’s just part of the process lol. My opinion has always been that once someone has been incredibly rude and broken OBVIOUS ettiquete rules, then you shouldn’t feel obligated to find the “proper” way to not invite them. This is a very immature way of dealing with things but oh well. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

    Post # 9
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    When people ask, “hey am I invited?!”, if I don’t plan on inviting them, I say “no!”.


    I’ve said no to ex-coworkers, family I haven’t seen in 10+ years, and friends from high school that I can only facebook friends with.

    For me, it’s easy to say no. Everytime someone asks me, I think to myself : “The person would cost me another $288 to attend my wedding”, then I think :

    1. Do I know this person well enough to want them at my wedding?

    2. Are they worth the $288?

    3. Do I plan to visit/talk to them before the wedding? or after?

    If the answer is no to any or all 3, you bet your ass I’m not sending them an invite.

    Post # 10
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would personally ignore the message.  Act like it didn’t happen.  He doesn’t deserve an answer!

    Post # 12
    11233 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @yippee62913:  This. Delete the message and move on.

    I’ve had a few people try to invite themselves to the wedding. Former coworkers, mostly, including a girl who didn’t invite me to her wedding (and told me that I’d better not get married before she did?), but invited a number of other coworkers. Yeah, I’m totally going to invite you to my wedding so you can sit there and judge all of my choices. My old boss kept trying to weasel details from me whenever I’d stop by, too. Annoying.

    Post # 13
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    I will admit a fault.

    When my Fiance and I were together for under a year my then-SO announced that his sister was have a Destination Wedding in Louisiana. I dead-ass invited myself, which he later pointed out to me. I am sure I did not ingraciate myself to his sister that way, but I paid her back for my airfare the minute we landed (she paid for her brother and I so we could be on the same flight).

    But I dead-ass (you can tell I am from NYC, right?) thought I was invited….idiot me.

    I will admit, looking back, that this was not the best way to meet his sister, But I do not regret it because I was able to videotape the ceremony (beautiful backyard ceremony on an Air Force Base) and capture my then-SO walk his sister down the isle.

    When his Bro(friend) was getting married I was so embarrased of my previous behavior I explicitly waited for my man to invite me. He later said he would not have gone (or been able to even attend) without me.

    Hopefully the moral of this story is that ppl who invite themselves to weddings, have the possibility of redemption. And, like I did, hopefully will learn from their mistakes.

    Post # 14
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Glasgowbound:  since he was rude enough to invite himself I would not stress over finding a polite way to tell him he’s not invited. I would simply reply “as you assumed you’re not invited” and leave it at that. 

    ETA I am curious though. If he’s that bad (rude/crass) why are you Fb friends with hiM?

    Post # 16
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    People are rude and stupid. Ignore his message.

    The topic ‘stop inviting yourself to my wedding!!!!!! (rant/long)’ is closed to new replies.

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