- 7 years ago
I am at my wit’s end. I don’t necessarily want to leave, but it’s looking more and more like I am going to have to simply because I cannot put up with this anymore. There are a few things that are pushing me to the brink of leaving.
1) He constantly questions me. If I don’t answer my phone when he calls or wait too long to text him back, he assumes it’s because I’m either with another guy or talking to another guy. Neither of these has even come close to happening. He says he believes I will cheat on him because I cheated on my ex over 10 years ago – yes, when I was young and severely depressed and suicidal and just all around a big fun bundle of f**ked up.
2) He’s questioned me about doing stuff behind his back with his friends. Again, never ever ever happened. For example, last year I went out to buy Halloween pumpkins to carve. The store was packed and it took a while to get through the check out lane. While I was waiting in line his best friend (who is married and has a child) saw me in line and came up to say hi and ask if I knew what the difference was between corn syrup and corn starch. I said one is syrupy and the other isn’t . That was the extent of the conversation. When I got back to the house he asked me why took so long. I explained the lines and mentioned I saw his friend there. About 15 minutes later he tells me I smell different and looked flushed so I must have been doing something with said friend. Right. That was one occurrence. There have been 3 others with 3 different friends of his. And nothing remotely inappropriate ever happened with any of them.
3) If I get home 15 minutes later than I usually do he assumes it’s because I took off for a 15 minute f**k fest with some guy. Nope, it was traffic.
4) He never asks to check my phone but I tell him he’s welcome to whenever he likes as I have nothing to hide. But then he says I can delete calls from my call log. I showed him that I cannot. (I use a company phone and the delete call log feature is disabled).
5) He gets on my case about how I wash a dish or clean the litter boxes. Even though I clean the house, do all the vacuuming, feed the animals in the morning when I wake up and again when I get home. (He works the swing shift so leaves for work in the afternoon.) But then if I do one little thing “incorrectly” I have to hear about it. And not in a constructive way. Nope. He talks to me like I’m a 5 year old child who doesn’t quite understand how things are supposed to be done.
6) He criticizes how I dress at times. If he doesn’t like what I’m wearing he’ll let it be known he doesn’t like it but in a rude, snide way. The other day I was wearing a skirt with Mary Janes and he said, “God that’s an ugly outfit. You like an Amish woman. Or a librarian. In fact you remind me of a woman at my work. She’s Mormon and has no sense of style. “ Awesome. Way to insult me, Amish and Mormon women and librarians all in one fell swoop.
I have told him time and time again that I am sick of all of this behavior. He admitted he is feeling insecure because he’s gained weight (he used to go to the gym a lot ) and doesn’t like his job and has been cheated on in the past. I know his questioning me and accusing me can be indicative of him being guilty of cheating and so he’s projecting, but I highly doubt he is. And if he is, the truth will reveal itself eventually. I don’t question him. There’s no point. If someone is guilty, they’ll likely lie. If they’re not, they’ll just get pissed off that you question them all the time. Anyone else date someone like this? If so, what did you do?