(Closed) Stop questioning me! I've done NOTHING WRONG!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 122
Member
10951 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

@ForeverBlessed:  

 

 

It’s typical of abusers to intentionally keep their partners off balance.

Post # 123
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh, honey.  Leave. Now. 

Post # 124
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee

This control freak man is a nightmare waiting to happen.

Post # 125
Member
1841 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I wasted 17 years of my life waiting for him to change, to begin to trust me, for me to have the ability to have lunch with girlfriends or even to shop without checking in every half hour.  It is no way to live (for that matter, it isn’t even living).  After we broke up, I found out that he was constantly accusing me of f***ing around because he’d had several affairs during the course of our relationship.

I know you are feeling very upset ATM; and all those emotions are OK.  Just NEVER believe that you are the person that he continues to tell you that you are.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have an escape plan before you decide to leave.  If you have close friends/relatives who can keep you safe, please call and ask for their help.  

I don’t know what else I can say; sitting here at the computer, I want so badly to come and get you myself to get you out of this relationship.  Know that we’re all here for you, and thinking about you…

Post # 126
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@KittyKatz: 

“not allowed? what? are you 15!? Jeez, he’s your SO/FI, not your dad!

leave the sh*t out of him!

Post # 127
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this.

In situations like this, I’ve found abuse escalates. I’m astounded  by the way this guy thinks he can treat you. I read one of your other threads where he dumped you briefly because “he istired of me making him the bad guy when he has done nothing wrong.” Please. He doesn’t sound like much of a catch at all.

I dated a guy like that. I was confident before dating him and in the end, I had never felt worse about myself.  The abuse escalated when one day he was mad and felt the need to put his hands around my neck. Then started the physical abuse. I was afraid of him but fought back, so he stepped it up to threatening to harm my family if I left him.

Please please please, see the good in yourself. Your posts show me already just how strong of a woman you are. You know his treatment of you isn’t right. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved. If you have family or friends in town, I hope you can stay with them and kick this guy to the curb.

Post # 128
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wait, why aren’t you cheating on this massive douchebag?  I’ve seen a lot of posts where I’ve been like “uh, yeah, need TA GO.”

But for real.

You need TA go, BAI.  This guy is a giant waste of space and you sound like a real sweetheart.

Post # 129
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

OP, I haven’t read through all of the responses yet, but I have been reading books about emotional abuse because of some problems a friend has been having…the behavior you’ve described in your SO is pretty much laid out verbatim in the book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”.

You mention that he often brings up how he’s been mistreated in the past as justification for the abuse he’s doling out to you – that’s yet another huge red flag. It’s apparently a very common tactic and the hallmark of an abuser. It’s one thing to have issues from being mistreated in past relationships, from being abused as a child…it’s another thing entirely to use prior abuse as a reason TO ABUSE SOMEONE ELSE.

I’m so glad you are thinking of getting out now. My first relationship was with a guy like this – things don’t get better.

The book “It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence” tells you how to get out of an abusive relationship, and how to start healing after you do leave.

Best of luck.. <3

Post # 129
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2017

KittyKatz:  man. It sounds a lot like my old situation. If I were you, I would run for the hills as fast as possible. His issues of Manipulation, Insecurity, and Control are unhealthy, and toxic. His issues aren’t your fault, nor should you be with someone who needs to deal with those first, so he can fully give himself to someone else. he needs professional help, because things don’t get better on their own. They actually get worse. So, please do yourself a favor, and be kind to yourself, by deciding that you deserve someone that treats you with love and respect. One life. One chance to live a fulfilled one with someone that cherishes you, and treats you right. 

Post # 130
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

deanajk2016:  This thread is 4 years old.

The topic ‘Stop questioning me! I've done NOTHING WRONG!’ is closed to new replies.

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