(Closed) Stop telling me how to raise my baby! (LONG)

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

BakerBee16:  As it sucks to get all this “advice” you just need to suck it up and smile and say thank you and move on. Because hate to tell you it doesn’t stop.  You just learn to say thank you I will think about it and go on and with how you want to raise your child.   I have a 4 year old and the advice still comes in.  I just roll my eyes and go on how I see fit, how my Darling Husband and raise our child

Post # 4
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

Your baby is cute and your mom and grandmother sound overbearing. Keep doing what you’re doing – remember, mother knows best. And YOU’RE his mother. 

Post # 5
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

He’s adorable — but why isn’t he swaddled??? HE LOOKS SO COLD 😛

 

I just had my fourth.  The advice stopped when I got blunt with people about it.  I had pretty bad post partum anxiety and I just couldn’t deal with hearing how I was doing everything wrong all the time.  Finally, I just flat out said “You can either be supportive or not come around.”  Blunt, maybe rude, but effective.  Your mother sounds like she’s entered crazytown… blunt may be your only option here.

Post # 6
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. He is such a cutie pie!!! I really have no advice, sorry!

Post # 7
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Also, I’d challenge her text message.  “You must not think I turned out *that* great if you feel like you need to text me constantly so that I know how to take care of my own baby.  You obviously don’t trust me as a mother.”  

Post # 8
Member
47209 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Moms and Grandmothers have been giving advice since the beginning of time. No need to make a big deal over it or let them push your buttons. Just thank them for their advice and do it your way.

Post # 9
Member
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh my word. You poor thing. I feel for you.

I personally have never given birth, but I’ve fed several newborns (nieces, and the daughters of my stepson) many times. I agree with your Mother-In-Law, not your mother.

It’s clear that your mom is insisting on conveying the same messages over and over and over and over. I think you need to be loving and kind but FIRM and let her know that you have HEARD her concerns, you appreciate the fact that she’s trying to help, but that you and your Darling Husband are going to follow the recommendations of your baby’s pediatrician and the resources he or she has provided.

You also may want to remind your mother that she was the one who made the decisions when you and your siblings were babies, and, back then, she could make whatever decisions she thought were best. However, now, with YOUR baby, she is the grandmother (and her mother is the great grandmother), and you and your Darling Husband will be setting the guidelines for how to care for your baby.

Post # 10
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

Omg, your mother is too much. She says the same thing about five times in that text message. I’m sure you’re doing a great job, they sound completely overbearing. Don’t be afraid to give yourself some space from them if they’re stressing you out. When people are so negative and critical like this, sometimes you have to starve them of their supply (I.e., not let them in your house). I can’t deal with all the passive-aggressive lol’s.

Post # 14
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you seeing someone about your anxiety? They might be able to give you some coping techniques.

In the meantime, maybe it’s time to lay down the law: mom, you know I suffer from anxiety, and while I understandthat you have Hudson ‘ s best interests at heart, I need you to trust my instincts and actions as his mother. If you can’t respect that, I’m going to stop reading or responding to your messages. 

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