- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Holy shit. I’m at my wits end with my mom (and my Mamaw). I have a 1 month old baby. Ever since the first week home my mom has been bombarding me with “advice.” Then around week 2 her advice turned into straight up TELLING me what to do and what I’m doing wrong.
Around days 10-14 when he was going through his first growth spurt, he started eating more oz and more often for a few days. Totally normal. Well according to my mom, we are over feeding him and giving him tummy aches. He’s a month old now and eating 4oz every 2-3 hours or so. She will text me “Do NOT feed that baby 4oz! His stomach is NOT big enough for that much liquid. You are making him sick!” “You can’t feed him sooner than 3 hours. Hold him off for an hour if you THINK he’s hungry!!” “You need to burp him after every oz so he won’t get a belly ache!”
First of all, if my baby is hungry I am going to feed him. My Mother-In-Law said there’s no such thing as over feeding a newborn. They will let us know when they are full, which he does. Second, it’s easy for my mom to say to “hold him off” when he’s hungry. And of course we burp him in the middle and end of his feedings!
Next, she is OBSESSED with keeping him warm. She says he is cold and needs to wear one extra layer plus blankets/swaddled at all times because it’s winter. Our baby is perfectly warm in a onesie. If he feels cool, I will put a light swaddle blanket on him. On the few occasions she has watched him, she will dress him in a onesie, a sleeper, swaddle him AND put a heavy blanket over him! He is literally sweating when she watches him. I tried telling her that overheating babies increases their risk of SIDS. She tells me to stop being paranoid. She will text me every single day and night “reminding” me to “keep him warm!!!” And it drives me crazy. She acts like we sit him outside in the cold in nothing but his diaper. He is INSIDE our HEATED house, he’s not cold!
Then there is my Mamaw. She has only been over to our house twice since I’ve had him. The first time I told her to put hand sanitizer on before she touched him and told her not to kiss him because she has a cold. (On a side note, she refuses to get a flu shot because 3 years ago she got one and has had a cold ever since. Yep, CRAZY!) Anyways, as soon as she sits next to him she kisses his hand. I told her not to do that because he puts his hands in his mouth.
After the visit I guess she talked to my mom on the phone and told her I forced her to put hand sanitizer on and thought it was so crazy of me to ask her to do that and how I “yelled” at her for kissing him. Then she said my “poor DH” was doing everything for the baby, insinuating that I don’t do anything! Oh she also said I looked awful. Gee, thanks! I probably looked awful because I’m EXHAUSTED from caring for a newborn!
Fast forward to tonight. My Mamaw came over again and rolled her eyes when I asked her to put hand sanitizer on. Then she said “I can’t believe you have a baby. You don’t like babies!” And I said “Yeah, but I like my own?” And then she followed me into his room while I changed his poopy diaper. I said “Oh I hope this isn’t a blow out!” And she goes “What? You don’t like doing this? He’s YOUR BABY!” And I said “Who LIKES changing poopy diapers?” And of course she says “I did with my kids.”
Then Darling Husband was bouncing with him on our yoga ball and then I suggested we do tummy time since he was awake. He started crying and she said “I don’t think you should do that. He obviously doesn’t like it. We never did it with my kids.” Then looks at Darling Husband and says, “You are such a good dad!” HELLO, what about me? I’d love to hear that I’m doing a good job. Instead, all I get is put down and how I’m doing EVERYTHING wrong. It’s so upsetting!
And here’s an example of how fucking crazy my mom is. She literally just texted me all of this while I was writing this.