Post # 1
I’m preparing to get married to my amazing fiance on September 6 of this year. . We’re both 35 (36 when we get married) and don’t want to wait to have children. Though I don’t want to be showing on our wedding day, I’m worried about infertility. I’d wait to start trying until after our wedding, but I have so many friends and family that have fertility problems (best friend, two work friends, future sister-in-law). I have more close friends in my life with fertility problems than I know that had no problems getting prengant. Being 35, I know that your fertility decreases with age. I’m currently on the pill and am thinking of stopping now. I’ve been on the pill since 22 and have no idea when I ovulate, etc. On the other hand, I don’t want to get pregnaunt right away and be 7 months pregnant for our wedding and honeymoon. Any advice is welcome!
Post # 3
Stop the pill and use condoms? Seems simple to me! That way you won’t be pregnant or far along for the wedding, but you can begin tracking your cycle.
Post # 4
@TaraMM11: I’d use condoms for a few months while charting to figure out your cycle. Then when you get that all figured out follow FAM/NFP rules. If you’re really serious about not getting preg before your wedding then continue to use condoms until phase 3 of your cycle (or abstain). Fertility friend, tcoyf, and nfp all have books and lots of resources to use. You can also ask questions of any of the fellow bee charters on this set of threads
Charters of the Hive: Part XV
then once you want to get pregnant, it will be easier, because you already know your cycles and you know if you will have any issues!
Post # 5
If I were you, I would get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, read it, and start Charting when you do stop the pill. Then maybe use a barrier method like condoms to let your body get regulated off the pill. Then, when you are ready to start, you will have a great estimation of when you ovulate, etc. 🙂
Post # 6
I’m in my 20s, so I didn’t have age against me, but I did not stop the pill until after we were married. When not on the pill, my periods are unpredictable and very crampy. I didn’t want to risk having my period on the wedding day or honeymoon!
Post # 7
I am in the exact same position as you. Enormously afraid of infertillity for various reasons including many friends and family who are struggling to conceive. Mid 30’s, getting married at the end of the year, want a baby now but have to wait until after the wedding. I feel my clock ticking down and it’s not fun 🙁
I worried myself silly before deciding to take charge and try to control the lead up as much as possible. Here is what I did.
- Buy ‘Taking Charge of your Fertillity’ its amazing and will teach you things you need to know to set your mind at ease.
- Go off the pill, use another form of protection (condoms)
- Start charting!! – knowing I was ovulating was such a huge weight off my shoulders. I could see my temp go up every month, pointing to (though not 100% confirming) that I was ovulating on time. My luteal phase (look that up, it’s important) was the same every month, my temp rose when it should. All good fertility signs. I use http://www.fertilityfriend.com
- Start using OPKs (ovulation prediction kits): you just pee on a little stick when you think you are close and it will confirm weather or not you are ovulating.
Once you are married you can start trying. If it’s not happening then you will already have a pile of data to take to your specialist keeping you ahead of the game. You will already have a lot if not all of the information they need to make a decision on what to do from there.
Doing all of the above has set my mind at ease, hopefully it will help you too!
Post # 8
Thanks Ladies. I hate using condoms (of course I have when neccessary) But, I guess it’s an option. I was also thinking of waiting until around May/June and then go off the pill and while I adjust to understanding my cycle, etc if I got pregnant, it would be OK because I’d be a few months along at the wedding and not showing(though I wouldn’t be able to drink at the wedding or honeymoon…boo).
@cowgirlace – I just bought the book you recommended on Amazon. Thanks!
@babymakes3 – Though my periods were also unpredictale pre-pill, they have always been light and never had bad side effects so I’m not too worried about it ruining my wedding or honeymoon.
Thanks for the responses ladies.
Post # 9
Stop the pill, buy “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”, and start temping. You can use charting to avoid pregnancy as well. I would highly recommend getting off BC and get to know your body and when you ovulate. It will make TTC that much easier!
Post # 10
Wow! @thinthirties Thanks for the response. It’s really helpful to know someone else is in the same exact postion. I’m going to start with reading the book and then take it from there.
Post # 11
@TaraMM11: Everyone hates condoms They are a necessary evil in this situation. Just be happy that after this short time you wont have to use them ever again!
Post # 12
I agree with some of the others: stop the pill now, start charting your cycles to make sure you’re ovulating and use a backup method for a few months. Once you’re more familiar with your cycle and at a comfortable place where you don’t think you’ll be showing yet for the wedding, you can pull the goalie. Best of luck!
Post # 13
I wrote a similar post recently, similar situation. I will be just shy of 34 when we get married next year and we want to start sooner than later, but I don’t want to be nine months pregnant on my wedding day! (or even 7 or 8 for that matter…) My nuva ring prescription runs out next month and we have been discussing just going with the flow after that. I’m glad to see the advice from other ladies!
Post # 14
Have you talked to your doctor/OBGYN yet? that would be my first thing to do. Yes, statistically it is more difficult to conceive after 35, but that is not always the case. Just as difficult as it is for a 23 year old to conceive, there are plenty of women who get pregnant on the first try at 36. Talk to your doctor and see what she says. She may be able to do some simple tests to give you a better idea of what to expect so you can plan your family. Congrats on your pending marriage and good luck!
Post # 15
I’d stop it now and use condoms as others have said. I wouldn’t count on not showing if you get pregnant in May/June….I started showing right around 12 weeks or so. I couldn’t button any of my own pants after week 8 I think. I hadn’t gained a ton either, I majorly bloated though pretty quickly.
You might be different, but just thought I’d share my story!
Congratulations on your wedding! I know your day will be so special and beautiful!
Post # 16
@TaraMM11: wow, you’ve been on the pill for a really long time! Definitely time to get off it. You’ll feel amazing soon! You’ve already been given lots of great advice, so I’ll just say this: don’t assume you’ll have troubles conceiving just because you’re 35! I tracked my cycles for 3 months, starting a prenatal at the same time, and was able to pinpoint my fertile window using OPKs and checking my cervical mucous. I got pregnant the first month trying!
it might take you a few months to get your cycles back to normal, so it’s a good idea to stop the pill now and use other methods. It’s such a stressful time, the months leading up to the wedding, that ideally you won’t get preggo until after, but with the right preparation and education, you’ll be ready to TTC right away!