(Closed) Stop this shower!! HELP

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t know – it is always tough when people can’t take no for an answer. Your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to just say no to helping you Future Mother-In-Law. I mean she ALREADY hosted a shower for you. I would say if your Future Mother-In-Law wants to host a 2nd one, she can go for it, but your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t need to be apart of the planning. Have you flat out told her this?

Post # 5
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell your Maid/Matron of Honor to make it clear to your Future Mother-In-Law that she is not planning another shower.

Tell your Future Mother-In-Law that your Maid/Matron of Honor is not planning another shower.

If the Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t send out invitations there will be no other shower unless your Future Mother-In-Law finally takes responsibility herself.

Post # 6
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

If your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have the ability to stand up for herself and say no, then I guess she needs to go on over the the store and start shopping.

Post # 7
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@star282:  Your Future Mother-In-Law is your Fiance blessing to deal with. He needs to tell his mother that your Maid/Matron of Honor has already thrown you a lovely shower, at her own expense, and if your mother would like to throw a shower she will have to do so at HER own expense. It shouldn’t be left to you… and DEFINITELY shouldn’t be left to your poor Maid/Matron of Honor… to deal with this woman. I would tell my Fiance to talk to his mother and I would call my Maid/Matron of Honor and tell her we’re taking care of it and to block FMIL’s number because she doesn’t have to deal with her anymore. 

Post # 8
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@star282:  So let me get this straight: you Future Mother-In-Law wants to “throw” you a shower…but actually have the Maid/Matron of Honor do the dirty work while she takes credit?

Post # 9
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Maybe her intentions are a little bit more strictly etiquette related.  You know, the whole traditional idea that family can’t host showers, but she wants you to have one with her side, but she feels bound by etiquette to have your Maid/Matron of Honor plan it.

Which is a bunch of crap, if I do say so myself.

Your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to stand up to the palte and say no.  By her saying yes, your Future Mother-In-Law will take it as a go-ahead.  If she says no, Future Mother-In-Law will have to re-evaluate what to do.

Post # 10
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How awkward.  I feel for your MOH- surely she doesn’t want to come off as lazy/rude/cheap by telling your Future Mother-In-Law that she will not put together another shower.  I like the idea of getting your Fiance to shut this thing down.  I was going to suggest another way for you to approach your Future Mother-In-Law, but having your Fiance put his foot down seems like the best way to handle it.  I’m sure you’ve done this, but please re-assure your Maid/Matron of Honor that you loved your shower and that you have no intention of having her do the work for another one.

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