- 10 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
I wish that there was a way to make this shorter – sorry!
For the past year, I’ve been working in a position that I was able to get because of my friendship with someone who was already working there. Technically, her and I have never been very close, but she is good friends with one of my FSILs. I recently left that employer after a series of confrontations with this coworker.
A little history…
Before I started working there, her responsibilities were of the receptionist-sort, which I imagine is frustrating, since she has her Master’s in archeology. She had been performing that role for over two years. My temporary employment with the Forest Service is contingent upon my enrolement in school. When they hired me, it allowed her more time to do more interesting work with the Forest Service, but always with the understanding that while I wasn’t answering phones and at the front desk, she would be.
During the month of July, I underwent a series of mysterious allergic reactions. I was occasionally waking up with a swollen ear, or a swollen foot, or both of my hands would be swollen beyond function. Several times, I had hives covering my entire torso. During these occurances, I wasn’t able to go to work. My relationship with my coworker came to the point that it now stands when she sent me an email, scolding me for not being at work. She accused me of being selfish for not thinking of what I was putting her through – working the job that she was hired for. I responded by saying that I would not be apologizing for being sick. Her next response accused me of being immature.
Following those emails, she went on a two-week vacation, at the beginning of which I put in my two week notice with our employer. By the time that she got back, I was blissfully working at my equally-paying, old, albeit less professional, job at a private golf course. I suppose that I should point out that I had been wanting to leave my Forest Service position for months, beforehand, regardless of her actions.
The result: I am now able to be happy at work, instead of dealing with her constant negativity, along with that of others. However, a year of working with her has made me realize that she is simply an unhappy, negative person. I can’t remember the last conversation we had in which she wasn’t expressing her anger with someone. This realization leaves me afraid to even be around her – really, what person actually wants to spend time with someone who isn’t nice to them?? Secondly, I’m not very motivated to resolve any issues with her, because, as forgiving and nice as I am, I’m not inclined to make peace with someone who has chosen me as her scapegoat for her own unhappiness.
I can futher complicate the matter by adding that her husband is in the same band as both of my FBILs, so we’re frequently at the same barbecues, parties, etc. I actually skipped an all girl get-together on Friday because the only attendees were my FSILs, my former coworker, and one other friend. I saw her at my FBIL’s birthday BBQ today, and when I said “hi”, she literally turned away and pretended to tie her shoe. For reals. And this woman is in her mid-thirties.
I’m at a loss, ladies. I really can’t see a good way out of this, especially because we are in the same social circle, so she will literally be in my life as long as we both live here. Any advice? I’m deeply in need of it.