Post # 1
Yesterday my boyfriend and I made plans to go out to eat tonight at 7. We talked this morning and confirmed the plans. We planned to meet at the restaurant. I arrived just before 7 and he wasn’t there. He’s always on time but I didn’t think much about it. I waited over 20 minutes and tried to call him but his phone went straight to voicemail. I started getting worried after 45 minutes and his phone kept going straight to voicemail. I left at around 8 and headed straight to his apartment and he wasn’t there. I continued to call and his phone continued to do the same. At around 8:30 he finally calls me and asked me to come by the apartment. He offered no real explanation on the phone. I get to his apartment and he apologizes but tries to change the subject. I ask if he wants to order pizza and he basically said that he was tired but he wants us to go out tomorrow night. He’s offered no real explanation and frankly I’m worried. He’s never done anything like this before.
Would this worry you? How should I bring this up to him tomorrow?
Post # 2
Kacey23: If it’s out of his character, then yes, it would worry me. When you bring it up, try not to hound him about it. Let him know that you’re worried, and you’ll be there to listen when he’s ready to talk.
Post # 3
That would drive me nuts!! Not only is it rude to stand you up but to not give any kind of explanation is just plain suspicious.
I’d make it clear that you were really worried when he didn’t show up but now that you know he was okay, you’re upset/annoyed/angry that he didnt give you any explanation and he owes you one. If he says he doesn’t, ask him how he’d feel if the situation were reversed, if he couldn’t get a hold of you and had no idea where you were or if you were okay.
Try to be honest and tell him how you feel, hopefully he’ll see its bothering you and be honest with you! Good luck!
Post # 4
You will just have to strait out ask him where he was! It’s pretty strange and rude of him to stand you up and give no explanation at all, especially if it’s out of character. Maybe his friends know where he could have been. Hopefully he’s not in any kind of trouble .
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I would have brought it up tonight haha! I guess tomorrow I would just casually mention that you were worried about him last night & you were just wondering if something had happened or whatever.
Post # 6
Um if he didnt offer any explanation, why didnt you ask for one? And I also would have brought it up then and there and not wait til the next day. That is rude and unacceptable behavior
Post # 7
I’ve never had to deal with this, but if my SO made me wait one hour at a restaurant, didn’t call to give me a heads up that he was going to be late, eventually stood me up entirely, didn’t answer his phone, then had the gall to ask me to come by his apartment rather than him coming by my place, he would owe me a lot more than an apology. He would owe me an explanation!
Post # 8
I definitely asked and he just uttered something. Sorry for not including that. I was happy that nothing bad had happened to him. This is so completely out of character for him. I really don’t know what to think.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate
Kacey23: don’t let him just drop it…demand an explanation. Trust your instincts…if something seems off your prob right
Post # 11
possibly left of field but are you expecting an imminent proposal? could he have chickened out or was this not a special meal? otherwise, as the other bees have said, i’d want a damn good explanation
Post # 12
I’d be livid. In 10 yrs, my dh has never done anything like that. I think you definitely need to get to the bottom of it. If nothing else, it was the height of rudeness. Hell, I’m mad for you.
Post # 13
I would be furious, you deserve a full explanation.
Post # 14
I’d be worried, but as to whether you should push him to give you more information, frankly, I think it depends on how long you’ve been together.
To use extreme examples, I would be rather irritated if my SO of a couple months was pestering me about every second of my whereabouts (especially if I had apologized and already explained that I was tired), whereas it’d be kind of expected if my SO of 5 years wanted to know what was up.
But then again, I’m super independent by nature and always advocate for both people in a relationship not having to account to one another for absolutely everything. If the trust is there, and this isn’t a thing that’s been repeatedly happening (to make it suspicious), I’d let it go.
Post # 15
I think there’s a big difference between not knowing where your SO is every minute to being flat out stood up with no explanation.