(Closed) Strange reaction from my boss–should I still give her an invite?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I still give her an invitation after that convo?



  • Post # 3
    9973 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You told her you were inviting her, so now you should send her an invitation.

    Post # 6
    9973 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @violet25:  I agree, it’ll be awkward, but it’s super rude to tell someone they’re invited and then not gie them an invitation.  You could always either mail it to her house, or leave it on her desk/inbox when she isn’t there, so you don’t have to do it face-to-face. If she doesn’t want to come, she can decline at that point, but at least you did the polite thing.

    Post # 7
    2430 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    There are a million reasons why she could have been fumbling like that– and most of them probably have nothing to do with you.  

    I would still invite her, and I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  More than likely she has something planned around the same time as your wedding, and she couldn’t remember if it was going to conflict or not; or perhaps she forgot when the wedding is and was struggling to not seem impolite about forgetting.  or maybe she got into a fight with her husband that morning or a good friend just finished a messy divorce, and thinking about weddings at all was a little awkward for her. Or perhaps she’s got some big work drama going on in her head about something else, and was side tracked when you talked to her. 

    Post # 9
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I just posted how a co-worker of Fiance outright declined going to our wedding when Fiance asked him for his address. So, we won’t be giving him an invitation since he’s already said no and wouldn’t give us his address.

    But, since your boss didn’t come out and say, “no” to attending or wanting an invitation, then you should still give her one (it’s like sending a STD and then not sending an invitation).

    Maybe mail it so you don’t have to give it to her in person? Or just leave it in her work mailbox (if you guys have one) or with her assistant to give to her? That’s if you want to avoid a personal encounter. Otherwise, just hand her the invitation and say, “We’d love for you to be there, but of course there’s no obligation whatsoever.”

    Edit to add after reading your above post: Some people just ask for details and act exicited for your benefit, without actually feeling inclined to be a part of your day. Sad, but true.

    Post # 10
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @abbie017:  This. Send her an invite and then put the ball in her court.

    Post # 11
    1174 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would still give her an invite.. she can always decline if she can’t come. I would think it would be more awkward to tell her you were inviting her, but then not give her an invitation.

    Post # 12
    716 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It sounds like maybe when she came up to ask you about picking your date and venue, she realized really quickly that it sounded like she was fishing for an invite? So maybe that’s why she got uncomfortable when you actually did bring up the invite. And then she tried to compensate for it by acting like she might not even be able to come. She probably didn’t want you to think that was her reason for asking (and I’m sure it wasn’t – it sounds like she’s genuinely interested in knowing about your wedding).

    Post # 13
    43 posts

    its always awkward and a bit weird when people dont seem all that happy for you :/


    but give them an invite anyway (especially after you said you would) if they decide to come, they come, if they dont, its their loss and you’ve done your part 🙂

    Post # 14
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL

    Lol, at least your boss doesn’t want to bring her entire f*ing family to the wedding.

    “Sure boss, I had to cut Great-Aunt Ida and my best friend from the list, but go ahead and bring all the kids!!!”


    But in all seriousness, if you want to invite her, great! At least she knows that you were thinking enough of her. The ball is in her court now.

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