(Closed) Stranger helped me during a storm, would be weird if I asked him out?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 201
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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beach_lover89 :  don’t worry about it! Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m getting the sense you’re trying to make yourself like him more than you do, just because it would be such a nice story if it worked out. You went out on a limb and asked him out, and that’s great, but it’s not worth being sad if you don’t click.

Post # 202
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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weddingmaven :  Totally agree. 

When I’m out of town visiting & busy with family and friends, I tend to keep other communication to a minimum, I didn’t visit weddingbee the entire holiday and was slow to reply to texts. I also did notice texting issues New Year’s Eve/ Day with ones I did try to send/ receive. 

But you also don’t want to do too much at this point Bee, I wouldn’t send more texts either. From his perspective, even if I liked someone and was interested in getting to know them better, too much too soon would tend to scare me off. 

 

Post # 204
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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beach_lover89 :  Yes, I did understand that you only sent the one text on Sunday- but on top of this you had already been back at his house with a gf (yes I Know, to get your cars), but you called him at 11pm on his cell, when he wasn’t home, asking if his roommate was around to let two strangers (to the roommate) into his house to pee. You put him in an awkward position doing that, but he didn’t know how to deny your bathroom-emergency request even if it made him uncomfortable having someone he doesn’t know well at all in his home when he’s not there. That’s also likely why the key is no longer there (and it’s weird that you checked).

But he still went out with you, either out of politeness or because he was interested in getting to know you better. But to be honest, I think your actions made things a bit much.

If I were you I would have gotten my car out of his driveway much sooner (if he’s home, then not home etc then road conditions are obviously good enough for some people to leave his street). I would have gone back with shovels etc, whatever was necessary to have my car either driven or towed out of a good Samaritan’s driveway. And I wouldn’t text someone I barely knew at 11pm nor ask to impose on his roommate. To be honest, I think he may be torn at this point. He sounds like a nice decent guy whose instinct is to help people, but you’ve made it all a bit much more of a hassle than he bargained for. So my advice is to back off and see if he makes the next move- if he does, he’s interested, if he doesn’t, either he was only being polite or he had second thoughts about things. I’d hardly call it ‘ghosting’ you when you only went out once. 

Post # 206
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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beach_lover89 :  Disagree with the PP.  “Ghosting” is exactly what it seems like…

I was rooting for this love story OP! Sad to see it didn’t turn out the way you wanted.  I guess one of the positives you can take from the experience is that there are still kind and helpful people in the world! 

Post # 207
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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beach_lover89 :  You’re playing semantics now- I know you didn’t  talk to his roommate, but you called the good Samaritan asking him to call the roommate and let you in. Definitely not something I would have done. And awkward position to put him in. 

So many things don’t add up:

How is Mr. Good Samaritan travelling from home to elsewhere on multiple occasions if the only access to his street is a trecherous hill even people in the business of dealing with treacherous road conditions dare not travel?

Or, if there is an alternate route, why couldn’t your car be dug out/ towed out/ whatever via the alternate route? 

It doesn’t make sense he ‘left the key out for you’, that’s either made up or bizarre. Because who in his right mind leaves a key out for a veritable stranger, even if he thinks she may be nice? Not to mention he’s also jeopardizing this Alleged Yet Never Seen Roommate’s well being & personal property, leaving strangers access to house keys without his knowledge. Plus- you only found out about the key because you still couldn’t get your car. Had you and your gf both been able to drive away, you would never have used the key nor known of its existence- and Good Samaritan couldn’t have guessed in advance you’d need to get in at eleven o’clock at night to pee. And ‘hoping we’d have a chance to interact again’ is a truly bizarre reason to leave a near stranger a key to access his home. You both have cell phones to keep in contact- and if he wants to ‘interact again’ with you, he could do something more normal/ less risky, like ask you out. 

You may have started this out as a charming little holiday rom-com, but it’s turned far fetched and rather odd. 

Is your car out of his driveway yet? 

 

Post # 208
Member
13606 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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beach_lover89 :  Did he initiate the Happy New Year text or did you? I don’t think he would have done that if there was no interest there at all. 

I disagree that most guys who are interested text back and forth in the very beginning of a relationship.  In my experience the opposite is true. 

I know you don’t think you came on too strong, but 

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  makes some good points, too. 

By The Way. wasn’t he a little vague about his plans that first weekend, three weeks ago? You had a sense he might have an out of town Girlfriend.  Not that he owed a stranger the details of his itinerary. More to the point, didn’t he fail to reply to one of your texts back then, too? 

Post # 210
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

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beach_lover89 :  

I wouldn’t write him off, but I wouldn’t pursue him further either…ball is in his court. In the meantime, go date, meet new people and if you hear from him and can get together, great.

I never understand why people can’t at least send a text, but you never know I suppose.

Post # 211
Member
13606 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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beach_lover89 :  It’s been all of four days and it was a holiday weekend on top of that.  I don’t think you can jump to the conclusion that he’s disappeared forever. He may be casually interested but not feel the same urgency you do to start a relationship. And not everyone uses texting the way you do as an instant form of communication.

Just wait and see what happens in the next week or two. 

 

Post # 212
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Any updates to this? I’m hoping for good news!

Post # 214
Member
837 posts
Busy bee

I hope the Bees haven’t scared you off – any updates? 

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