(Closed) Stranger making too much physical contact with your SO?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@badabing88:   Does he know her?  That’s a strange response from him from the way you described everything.

Post # 18
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should ignore her. There’s nothing else you can do that doesn’t involve sinking to her level. But your BF can and definitely should ask her to keep her hands to herself, and not in a friendly way. Honestly if some stranger were touching me, I wouldn’t wait for it to annoy my SO; I’d tell them to keep their hands to themselves.

Post # 19
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@badabing88:  Straight up ignore her. When you’re watching the game, pay attention to SO, cheer him on, and act like she doesn’t even exist. Stare right through her if you realize she’s looking in your direction, or stare above her head like something else has caught your attention. Smile at SO, laugh with fellow friends (if any are with you), and just prove that you’re above such silly school-age nonsense. 🙂 She wants attention, and you (and SO) not giving it to her is eventually going to either make her ramp up her shit, or leave y’all alone and find something else to amuse herself. I’m hoping for option B. 🙂

Post # 21
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@badabing88:  Ok.  I’m still in the “ignore her and do nothing” camp, so far anyway, lol. 

Post # 24
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my.

He needs to put on his big boy panties and tell her NO. I don’t care if he is a textbook pacifist (which just means no violence), he needs to tell her that her behavior is inappropriate.

Post # 25
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Gahhhh… women like this drive me CRAZY. Personally, I get a kick out of girls trying to hit on my Fiance. We’ve been in bars, and some girl will come up to him, smile, and try to get him to buy her a drink. He generally smiles, gets his beer, and then comes over and kisses me. The look on their face is usually priceless.

But, that’s neither here nor there in regards to the OP’s problem. I know you don’t want to get your BF involved, but it sounds like he’s now aware of the issue, since you and your two friends mentioned it. Next time she goes to high-five him, he should just deadpan her, and not return the gesture. If she goes to rub his shoulders, the line “hey, that’s my girlfriend’s job” would work nicely. 

Above all else, don’t let her get to you. She’s probably looking for an ego boost by getting the attention of a good looking guy who has a girlfriend. Be a woman, and keep acting like she isn’t bothering you. If she smiles at you, smile back. Be extremely nice and friendly, and if she says “hi” to him, or walks by, be very obvious in saying hello to her, even if she ignores you. She needs to be called out in a very strategic way, and making her uncomfortable around you is the best way to do that. 

Not to keep rambling, but it’s a strategy we used to use in retail if we suspected someone of shoplifting. We’d quite literally follow them around the store, suggesting things for them to try on, asking them what they are looking for, and encouraging them to move further away from the exits. They’d panic (super funny) and usually dump the clothes and run. 

Kill ‘er with kindness. 

Post # 26
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MissCalifornia:  +1. He needs to stop returning her high fives, and tell her her constant back rubbing/patting makes him uncomfortable. Hopefully she will get the hint after that and find someone else to harass.

Post # 28
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@oneofthesethings:  Oh I totally know that, and I do realize that this wouldn’t be a mature reaction. But I’m impulsive, and there’s nothing I can’t stand more than someone knowingly trying to stir up trouble and people just letting them get away with it. Some people need to be put in their place and this woman sounds like she fits the bill. 

Post # 29
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

She’s trolling.  And one you encounter a troll, you have 2 options.

1. Don’t feed the troll (ie ignore her completely).

2. Troll harder.  I’d be tempted to bribe another friend to intervene when she tries to touch your BF.  When she goes to high fiver your BF, have the friend jump in and high fiver her instead.  If she tries to stand close to him, have the friend awkwardly squeeze in between them.  If she tries to pat his back or arm, have the friend either pat her arm too or start patting your BFs arm with her or squeez in so she’s patting his arm or something equally awkward.

Post # 30
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@badabing88:  (reply #26) you go for it girl! Sometimes, ya just gotta put your foot down. But I’m going to veto the sweatpants and demand you say you’re not going while looking amazing! lol

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