onceuponadream: Maybe I could had been more polite by simply similing or replying with a “Well, ok”. Maybe I could had simply ignored him. But I didn’t want to. I do not think I was aggressive or impolite, simply stating that (1) I do not like to be associated with having kids, (2) I am pro-choice (which is almost a forbidden thought for a lot of people in my country), and (3) I did not like that he was implying I could get accidentaly pregnant at any moment (I do not think people like being told repetedly they could get sick at any moment out of “god’s will”?)
I am aware that in my country, and especially where we are currently living, the locals are highly religious and see marriage as the equivalent of having kids. I have been asked many times by locals that I have met, when am I having kids and when I tell them that I do not plan to they usually reply “of course, of course, you are still young” (most of these people are older than me). My husband, on the other side, is usually asked “so, did you get her pregnant and got married?” or “if there were no kids, why marry?”. So in a sense, I understand the Uber driver was speaking out of cultural beliefs and because of so, I do not hold it against him (nor did I rate him low. He got me on time and safety), but I did feel I needed to let him know that there are other points of view. There are people who do not want kids, who do not find joy in accidentaly having them, and who are pro-choice.
I appreciate you all the support! It can be frustrating at times, especially when people don’t seem to realize that there are plenty of other reasons to get married besides wanting to have kids. I know slowly some relatives have started accepting it, but they still make comments once in a while. It doesn’t help either that my culture applaudes mothers (especially those who got accidentaly pregnant -despite them not knowing how to support their kids) and rejects those who are pro-choice. It is nice to be read and know there are others that too find a stranger telling you you’ll get pregnant and be happier is weird and not nice at all!
On a side note…the same Uber guy was telling me that my “difficult marriage years” were straight ahead of me, as I was only in the “honeymoon” stage and didn’t know what was coming. I told him I had been told that the first year is the hardest and yet I was having such an awesome time. I then asked him if he was married, to which he answer he wasn’t and had never been. But he would like to, eventually, and have kids (afterwards he asked me if I had any kids of my own). I found it ironic that he was adamant in the fact that I was going to have a hard time in my marriage in the future, when he hasn’t even experienced being married :S AND without knowing anything about me or my husband.
I think he was simply trying to do conversation, from the point of view of a male raised and educated on my male-oriented culture. I do hope, however, that he learned something new from me 🙂
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