(Closed) Strangest reaction to your engagement?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
3243 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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emmabird :  That’s really strange! Maybe she was hoping for an invite to the wedding? 

My best friend when I told her for the first time and showed her the ring, literally said nothing. She just looked at it and walked away. Her reaction was super noticable and awkward because it was just three of us standing in her kitchen. About 10 minutes later she finally said congratulations. She knew it was coming very soon, so I get that she wasn’t super surprised, but I was completely taken aback that she said NOTHING and immediately walked away. 

After that I decided not to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, and just made all of my friends bridesmaids. She kind of brought it up much later that “some of the other bridesmaids assumed that she would be MOH”, but I didn’t say her reaction was the (final nail in the coffin) reason I didn’t ask her. Unfortunately I think that moment was kind of reflective of our friendship in general. We are still close but I won’t forget her reaction!

Post # 3
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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emmabird :  We had overwhelmingly positive reactions.. but I did note some people suddenly acting like we were best friends. A friend of mine who became good friends with my ex stopped talking to me for months after I broke up with him, but after I got engaged (to the new guy) she was SO EXCITED for me, and it felt super fake. 

Post # 4
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We generally had completely positive reactions. But one that will always stick out to me is a friend of MIL’s at our engagement party saying: “well, it’s not too late to change your mind!” Uh, thanks? That was the weirdest because she’s known my DH for a long time (at least on the periphery), she didn’t know me at all so that was quite stunning. 

Post # 5
7591 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

well this was not a reaction to my engagement necessarily, as it happened the day before my wedding, but I think it still applies.

Ok background: so my mom really wanted to invite this woman, let’s call her Betsy, to our wedding. Betsy and my mom used to be really close many years ago (like when I was a little kid) because Betsy lived next door to us. Betsy moved away ages ago but my mom remained in touch with her and I guess for sentimental reasons wanted to include her in the wedding. I said fine, even though I haven’t seen Betsy in probably 15 years at this point. It is relevant to the story to mention that Betsy is a devout Catholic. Like has 9 children that she homeschooled to keep away from the evils of the secular world, goes to mass every day, type of devotion.

Anyway, as we were driving to the rehearsal dinner the day before my wedding, I check my email on my phone and I see I have an email from Betsy with the subject line “Thoughts sent to me by God during this morning’s mass.” Interesting! So I proceed to read the email, which is like 9 paragraphs long, and basically tells me that God spoke to her at mass that morning and told her to urge me to cancel the wedding because my husband is Jewish and I am being horrible to my “sweet, unborn child” by bringing him into the world wiht a non Christ-loving husband. I AM NOT KIDDING. “How will your child ever know the love of Jesus?” – direct quote. Paragraphs upon paragraphs begging me, telling me it’s not too late to call it off, Jesus told her to say this to me. 

Now I am literally in the car heading to the rehearsal dinner with my bridal party and I just lost it at this point. We had had a really stressful engagement due to the challenges of putting together a secular/Jewish/Christian wedding that was true to our own values/beliefs, while respecting our mutual traditions, while not totally offending/devastatig one side or the other of our family, and this was just the last straw. I burst into tears and my bridesmaids were having to console me the whole drive to the venue, and then I had to wear sunglasses throughout the rehearsal so people couldn’t tell I’d been weeping. What a mess!!!!!!!

Anyway, I calmed down and decided to ignore the email, because truly, there are no words. I told DH about it and we had a laugh. Wedding day arrives and I am not thinking about the email anymore because of the excitement and happiness of the day. Imagine my surprise when Betsy not only shows up to the wedding but has the fucking nerve to come through the receiving line and greet us!!! I was cold but civil to her, and then she left – which means that on top of everything else, we paid for her meal that she didn’t eat (also she had rsvp’d for two people and dind’t bring her date, so technically we were out two meals). Which, really, it’s for the best that she didn’t stay, but still just another level of rudeness/absurdity.

Then the next day, she sends me ANOTHER EMAIL telling her god spoke to her again at mass and said it’s okay that we got married, we clearly love each other, and she has faith that Jesus will find a way to speak to my husband and bring him on board the Christian train. THANK YOU BETSY, GLAD TO HAVE YOUR STAMP OF APPROVAL!

So yeah that was the craziest reaction we had to our pending nuptials.

Post # 6
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Not “crazy” but annoying. I called both my best friends the morning after I got engaged, as they live in different cities. 

One did a Spot on Tina Belcher “uhhhhhhh” for a good 5 minutes. She’s not ready to accept we’re “adults” in our late twenties and these things will start happening. She eventually said she was happy for me. It’s honestly funny to me, and I know she didn’t mean anything bad through her reaction, but definitely not the traditional reaction. 

The second best friend decided THEN to tell me she’s ring shopping! Very excited for her, but like, can you take a minute to not steal my thunder? Lol. Again not super mad just not what I was hoping for. HAha

Post # 7
332 posts
Helper bee

This wasn’t towards me but I’m sure it will eventually be. My boyfriend’s group of guy friends have all been engaged and/or married within the last 3 years. Their bachelor party hashtag is always something along the lines of #itsnottoolate. All the girls find it slightly annoying but they are just being guys. 

Post # 8
82 posts
Worker bee

That’s so odd!!

My fiancés aunt asked him “What the hell did you do that for? I’m not ready for this” As I was standing right there. We both know it has more to do with her life and her wish for her children to be married so I think it was a jealous reaction but it was still hurtful and bizarre. 

Post # 9
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

A couple months after we got engaged, this guy who I have met exactly once (went to college together but didn’t know him, chatted at a mutual friend’s wedding) but am friends with on Facebook sent me a long message about how his mom’s masters thesis is about how premarital counseling helps marriages and that we should really consider it. Which isn’t inherently bad advice, but just felt really inappropriate because I barely know him. Reading it, I was expecting his mom to have a book on the subject and he was pitching it or something. That would have been less weird! But nope, just completely unsolicited advice from a virtual stranger. 

Post # 10
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I skyped my then best friend from childhood to let her know when it happened and her reaction was’Oh man! Now I’m the only single one.’ No congratulations, or anything. Another friend who is notoriously known for being self-centred and whom I was really close  to at that point (these life events really make you reconsider things) responded to a photo I sent to her of us showing the ring a couple of hours after we got engaged the day it happened with a photo of her new hair…

Post # 11
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My brother responded with “well, plenty of time to change your mind”. Nice. 

He’s probably bitter that my family LOVE my fi, and dislike his wife so much that nobody went to his wedding, so oh well.

Post # 12
597 posts
Busy bee

Bitter, divorced coworker: “Well I hope you’re over the moon right now, because it’s all downhill from here!”

Post # 13
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Some of FI’s “friends” who I never really liked, we stayed with them for a weekend two weeks after the proposal,  didn’t say congratulations or mention it, comment on my ring, or even acknowledge it in any way. It was so weird. xo

Post # 15
682 posts
Busy bee

After we got engaged we of course told our family and close friends before announcing anything on social media. My mom was on vacation in Morocco at the time so I couldn’t call her but I sent her a picture with the ring and she replied congratulations. Well I’d say about a week after being engaged we changed it on facebook and I get multiple calls from my mom about how rude I was for not telling her first and what a terrible daughter I am. I find the messages, screen shot them, and send them back to her. Apparently she had been drinking after traveling for over 20 hours and completly forgot. 

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