Post # 16
A co-worker of mine (via text) initially congratulated me and then sent a long message saying he was worried about me acting so “out of character” and he thinks I’m in a bad place because I am acting “so impulsively” by immediately saying yes to the proposal (was I supposed to take a break and think if over with SO there in his knee?) and he hopes I am not making a mistake.
Co-worker and I were polite and friendly at work but not friends to the point that he would know what is “out of character” for me. Also, SO and I had been dating for seven years, putting off engagement until I finished school, which only just happened months earlier. So it’s not like I was running to the alter with a stranger…? Further, he and DH never met and I never spoke of my relationship beyond “any fun weekend plans?” type of talk. Idk why he seemed so worried about me being railroaded into a relationship I secretly didn’t want; I am no shrinking violet. The whole thing was like him trying to have a bizarre heart-to-heart with me. I did not reply and kept my distance from him at the office after that. All other reactions were positive 😊
Post # 17
for me it wasn’t exactly strange it was kind of just irritating that a handul of people said, “Congrats. Are you guys getting married because she’s pregnant?” Like young people my age don’t get married before having kids anymore. It felt really stereotypical.
Post # 18
ughh! I also heard congrats followed by “the first year is the hardest.” Like um okay? We’re 5 months in and its been the most wonderful 5 ever. So many good things have happened to and for us.
Post # 19
Not really bad reactions but had a few of the stupid comments about ‘run while you still can’ or ‘the old ball and chain’ etc. from people who think they are terribly funny. Mostly from middle aged men we don’t know very well…
Post # 20
I don’t know that I had any strange reactions other than some people already thinking we were married.
Post # 21
That is so strange and random! For me, most were supportive and excited for us, except for one friend in particular. She asked to meet for lunch after DH and I got engaged, I thought she was a close friend so I actually planned to ask her to be a bridesmaid and prepared a cute box and letter, etc. From the moment we met up at the restaurant she spent the entire time she talking about how narcissitic weddings were and she went on and on about how disgusting she finds it. White dresses are ugly. Holding bouquets are ugly. Diamond rings are vile. Everyone ends up in divorce. Etc, etc, etc. I felt like she literally sh*t on everything I was excited for. Her negativity and bitterness turned me off so much I didn’t ask her to be a bm and from then we just drifted and now we don’t talk at all.
Post # 22
Seems like your friend was bitterly jealous that you got engaged and wanted to bring your happy moment down.
Post # 23
I didn’t announce my engagement at work- but my male coworker got a glimpse of my ring. He was super bummed out and literally said “I was about to set you up with my cousin, and now I have to tell him you’re taken”. I had no idea he had plans to set me up with anyone. I thought he knew I was happily in a relationship since I had probably mentioned by boyfriend in passing before. But… didn’t think I needed to make it clear at work that I was not available. Once he asked me if I was married, and I said no… looks like he interpreted that as “single and ready to mingle with my cousin.”.
He spent the rest of his shift talking up his cousin, telling me how great of a guy he was. How attractive he was… he lives in North Carolina (but is willing to do long distance!). IT WAS SO STRANGE. And offensive.
Post # 24
OP, you’re story is really strange! Fiance and I are recently engaged and we got the like friends we haven’t spoke to in forever texting us saying they’re so excited and acting like best friends again, curious to know all of the details.
The one that kind of bothers me was actually my dad. Fiance did include them in his plans to propose but I guess before he went to talk to him, my dad went to my godmother’s to visit her and when I told my godmother the news (we’re really close) she was like “Yeah your dad said he saw you two breaking up within the next year or two.” and I was like uh.. what? Totally taken aback, because Fiance and I have been together for 5 1/2 years (plus a small break-up) and its quite obvious from the outside we’re a good match together… really not trying to be concieted but it is true. Like idk… my relationship with my parents is just weird and of course they love my Fiance but I can’t believe my dad had said that? Whereas, when we told otehr family members they were just like “Oh well yeah… we knew it was gonna happen just a matter of when”
Post # 25
Most people were normal human beings but I had one co-worker ask- in front of several others- how much DH spent on my e-ring and how much did he spend on his ex’s e-ring, asking if he spent more on me than her. I just dead-eyed her (lol like a full on side-eye) and asked ‘what is wrong with you?!’ That shut her up at least, otherwise she prob would have asked endless wedding-comparison nosy questions over the next several months. She has the tendency to get in everyone else’s business on top of making huge dramas of her own, she’s quite a joy to be around.
Post # 26
That story is BONKERS. Did you tell your mom about what Betsy did? Is she still friends with her? I would have been so pissed.
I don’t recall any strange reactions to our engagement, though things were a little awkward around my husband’s ex Girlfriend who is still part of his friend group. She’s a little awkward in general though.
One conversation that made me feel uncomfortable was close to the wedding when two girlfriends took me to a wine festival as a sort of bachelorette party, and one of them wanted to talk about two guy friends of hers who both wanted to date me like 7 years ago. I guess she saw them both recently and told them I was about to get married and they “missed their shot.” I had forgotten that one of them asked me out over Facebook messenger. I literally have not thought about either of them in almost 8 years and was never interested in either one. I guess it was weird because the way she told the story made me seem like some heartbreaker lol.
Post # 27
This wasn’t immediately after… but…
I got engaged and two weeks later had a girl’s weekend planned with three of my best friends. (We all live in different states, so we found a pretty central location to vacation for a week. With that being said, I didn’t have an engagement party or anything and obviously was not able to celebrate with them when it happened other than over the phone.) I get to the hotel to find out two of my best friends decorated it and bought champagne to help celebrate my engagement! It was super sweet of them. My last “best” friend shows up and says, “What is this for?” One of the other girls says, “to celebrate tulipdazey’s engagment!” She said, “Oh. So is this celebration going on all week? Or can this be done now?”
It was just a very odd way to respond 1.) after getting engaged and 2.) upon seeing me for the first time in a long time!
I was annoyed but let it go. All three girls were in my wedding party but then my Debbie Downer friend started making comments to the other girls about how she was surprised that I didn’t make her my Maid/Matron of Honor. Uh, well, it’s hard to make someone your Maid/Matron of Honor when they don’t exactly act happy for you…
Post # 28
I did tell my mom. Reason being – I wanted to know how the F Betsy got my email address. I suspected my mom must have given it to her, which then made me paranoid that my mom was somehow complicit in this. My mom is also a devout Christian, and when DH and I first got engaged, she struggled with it. I thought we had moved past all that for the most part, but when I got Betsy’s email and started pondering how the F this even came to be, I worried about the role my mom might have played in it.
Thankfully, my mom was just as surprised by Betsy’s email as I was. She told me Betsy had asked for my email address a few days earlier saying that she wanted to send me a note, and that my mom had just assumed she would be sending her well wishes. She even showed me the text message exchange she had with Betsy, so I know this is true.
I don’t know if my mom and Betsy are still friends…I mean they weren’t super close to begin with – I think they might talk once or twice a year. My mom said Betsy has mental health issues, which I fully believe – because even if you feel the way Betsy does about an interfaith wedding, you have to be off your rocker to actually put those thoughts into an email that you send to the bride on the EVE of her fucking wedding. Especially when the bride is some girl you haven’t even laid eyes on or spoken to in 15+ years.
Post # 29
I remember getting engaged and my then boss told me this would be a “good first marriage,” LEGIT… bitch
Post # 30
My dad takes the cake for sure. When I told him he asked me if my Fiance knew. Yeah, I don’t really get it either. I made some joke that no, I just decided for the both of us…and then he changed the subject. Never said congrats. I’m not on the best of terms with him so I wasn’t expecting a lot, but he always manages to surprise me!