Strangulation as Domestic Violence—Extremely Serious

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
904 posts
Busy bee

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sassy411 :  I hope so too…As a survivor and advocate I know that leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship with an abuser. I hope she is okay. 

Post # 4
Member
904 posts
Busy bee

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sassy411 :  Domestic Violence and cheating go hand in hand. Abusers typically see themselves with a different set of rules and expectations. The abuser tends to think its his right to cheat, while his victim is never allowed to stray, if the victim does, it can be dangerous because abusers will re-enforce their control of the victim with more severe abuse. 

I hope she decides to leave. Unfortunately some dont make that choice. In my time with at the Domestic Violence shelter, we lost 5 women. Three were beaten to death. One was shot, and another stabbed to death and set on fire. 

Some get out, some dont. 

Post # 5
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5160 posts
Bee Keeper

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sassy411 :  That was the vibe I got as well. Oh, yeah, by the way, he strangled me 2x a few weeks ago. BUT HE CHEATED!  And now I’m so upset, things were going so well before this.

 

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

I truly hope she is okay & that she left her abusive fiancè!  

Post # 9
Member
2688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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sassy411 :  I was like her once. I tolerated 5 years of abusive marriage because I thought that’s what “through good times and bad” meant. Ultimately what I really left over was cheating though. For me, him cheating broke the marriage contract, our vows had included “forsaking all others”, so once he broke that, after a few weeks of mental processing I realized he had broken the contract, there ws nothing left to save, marriage is about monogamy. If focusing on the cheating will allow her to leave then great, why she leaves isn’t that important as long as she goes.

Post # 10
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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sassy411 :  Thank you for posting this valuable information.  As a former victim of domestic violence I know that knowledge is power for the victims.

Post # 11
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9161 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sassy411 :  I’m sorry but you really do need to watch the language you constantly use in all these threads about domestic violence. In this thread you stated “which is the worst form of domestic abuse“ inregards to strangulation. There is no such thing as the worst form of domestic abuse. All domestic abuse is bad. End of story. 

Saying that one form of domestic abuse is worse than another is dangerous. It minimises what other survivors and those that weren’t lucky enough to survive go through and could make someone currently experiencing domestic violence think twice about leaving their situation because “it’s not the worst form”. It leads to those experiencing domestic abuse not reaching out to resources because someone “whose getting it worse” needs those resources more.

I didn’t see the thread in question and I do hope that the OP leaves her abuser.

Post # 12
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

So frustrating how even our society minimizes. Two of my very good friends (or I thought were very good friends) minimized the psychological and phsyical abuse I was experiencing from my ex. One of them thought that since I was with someone/had a boyfriend, I shouldn’t complain! How pathetic and sad! I was completely isolated. Many of my ‘friends’ abandoned me but when it came time to ship out, my true friends came through and I will never forget that. Amazing and disgusting how quick people will abandon you because you’re not ‘good enough’ to keep them company. Really sick. 

Good luck everyone, abuse is never OK!

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