Post # 1
We went to do the marriage license paperwork this afternoon. A couple of weeks ago I changed my mind from taking his last name to just adding it to mine, but without the hyphen, so by doing the paperwork, it was the end to the internal debate. We filled out the paperwork, brought it back up to the desk, and as the lady reviewed it, she told me I was missing the hyphen. I explained I didn’t want a hyphen, and then she replied that I could only have one last name and my current last name would become my second middle name. I know people with two unhyphenated last names, but standing there at the courthouse, I started to doubt myself and I was about ready to give in. I was holding up the line over a hyphen! As we bantered back and forth about the hyphen and its necessity or lack thereof, the people around me began to giggle and I felt a little dumb. Luckily there was a great suggestion- call the social security people- so I did and they assured me two last names without a hyphen would be ok. The lady finally agreed to type our certificate without a hyphen, but did make sure to point out I had the 5 day waiting period and a 20 dollar change fee to pay should I change my mind, but once I left with the certificate, it would be several hundred dollars in court! After all the internal debate, discussion on the boards, etc. I would have never guessed I would be debating with the people who help make it all official!
Post # 3
I’ve heard about this happening before to a friend who live in Virginia. She ended up giving up and just taking her husband’s last name, bumping her maiden name to the middle.
Post # 4
I see this at work dealing with customers. I cringe only because I never know what to call them. Like a Jane Ryan Jones? What if her maiden name was Jane Ryan? Do I call her Mrs. Ryan Jones? Or Mrs. Jones?
I think it’s great you called the SSA to prove your point. Great idea! I think you can go with however you want. I would just have the grace to know that strangers may end up calling you Mrs. Jones. Which, I suppose is a blessing. You’ll know who is calling for sales versus calling for business with companies you actually want to talk to!
Post # 5
I mostly went with both names because of work and how established I am there with my maiden name. My employer recently starting requiring our name badges be in our legal names, so there would be a lot of people who would think I had left if they couldn’t find me in the online directory or via email. It’s actually been a problem for several people who originally hyphenated and then dropped their maiden name- it’s like they disappeared but they haven’t. I’m pretty laid back, so call me by my maiden, combined, or his last name, and chances are I’ll respond.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’m so glad you were able to do this! I’d originally wanted to, but then I realized I’d have an over 20-letter long last name and decided not to after all. 🙂