(Closed) Stress of it all…

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

yeah totally – which is why we are eloping in august in hawaii  but we are still going on with the big "show" in feb of 2009

Post # 4
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

It got worse once we had the rings. 🙂 It’s like…hey, we can go get married anytime now. And it was tempting.

But then I remembered that I wanted to make it a public statement in front of family and friends, that I wanted the video of all those wedding moments, that I wanted my bonus mom to marry us (she fiinished her schooling and was ordained mere weeks before the weddding), that I wanted my mom to walk me down the aisle, and that I wanted to make guests cry (seriously…I was going for the "most moving wedding" award). Hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Vegas sure did sound tempting, until my Fiance realized how superstressed I was (and I don’t mean my constant bitchfest about my crazy family, but breaking down crying at the end of the night after my parents had tormented me with their bright ideas the entire day stress) and took the reins in helping me.  He became much more active and involved in everything and no longer gave me the pathetic, "do we have to do it now?  I’ll do it later." talk and did as I requested.  It def helped to have him on the same page as me rather than stare at me like an alien like everyone else was doing.  So, yeah, get your Fiance involved if for nothing else but emotional support def makes the stress go away!  Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, the stress of the money is making me just want to go to the courthouse. I always wanted a wedding, but now the reality of it is here and I just think it’s absolutely ridiculous. But, the show shall go on, I guess

Post # 7
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

I never got back on track!  I don’t think everyone is cut out for wedding planning.  There’s definitely a spectrum.  I am in awe of everyone on this site who can pull it off!  For me, the money, the time, the enormity just didn’t gel with either of us.  I’m glad we realized it while we only had 1 deposit to lose! 

You don’t HAVE to get back on track if it really feels like too much.  But if you do definitley want the big day, simply taking a few days or even week off from planning would probably help.  To me, everything seems more doable after I’ve stepped away for a little while.

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I totally wanted to go to the courthouse from the beginning, and it is my Fiance and family who have talked me into the whole wedding thing.  And then, of course, left me with a huge amount of the work!!  Having made a commitment to THEIR dream wedding (and finding that its becoming more and more my dream wedding too) I would have to be having a pretty major meltdown to back out.  But I have been tempted.  Like Miss BlueBear, mostly that is when Fiance and mom seem unappreciative of hours and hours of research and effort.  I used to get the "Do we have to do this now?" fairly often.  Luckily after only a minor meltdown on my part, everyone is now being super supportive and appreciative, and if they all roll their eyes behind my back at my level of obsession, they hide it well.  Fiance is really good at stepping in when I get overwhelmed, in this and every little thing, which allows me to get back on track in my own time and way – and with at least a few things accomplished by him in the gap.  Actually, my mom is pretty good at that too…

Post # 9
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was all for going to Vegas and getting married by Elvis in a drive through chapel!  It was the fiance who wanted the big ol wedding!  We compromised to a small wedding, but I’m such a terrible bride.  I’d be just as happy pick up a few bouquets from Walmart the day of.  My dress came in this week and it’s put me a little more on track.  Nah, I still wanna go to Vegas!  If it wasn’t for a substantial deposit on our venue I’d totally get fed up one week and head for Vegas!

Post # 10
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

YES!  What I don’t understand is people that assume I am having the time of my life planning!  It is not always fun!  What brings me back on track is that I remind myself that our wedding is about me and my FH spending our entire lives together and starting a new chapter in our lives.   

Post # 11
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Wow, I feel better… thanks buckeye.  I think people assume I am missing a piece of DNA or something when they hear that FI wanted the big wedding and I wanted to go to the courthouse…  (It’s the Martha gene – I just don’t have it.)

Post # 12
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Uh yeah, I go through it every week it seems. But I’m a huge spaz and with the love and awesomeness of the hive and the cat that no one holds back on here – oh and my fantastic Fiance – I work it out, and then wait for the nest break down to happen…lol.

Post # 13
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Shooting range works for me.  Then carne asada nachos.  I rent a gun for a few hours and take a lesson.  You CAN NOT think of anything else when you are shooting.  And who wants to think of anything when you are eating carne asada nachos.  It’s a very Homer Simpson moment. Mmmm…..Nachos. 

Post # 14
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Dang it – now I’m hungry – only for chimichungas…..grrrr.

Post # 15
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I am really a list-maker, so if I make a list of things that we’ve already finished and one that is of things left to do, it makes me feel a little more motivated to just keep chugging along.  Sometimes, though it feels more stressful to have everything laid out in front of you, so sometimes I just take a couple days off when I don’t feel like planning anymore.  Once I see a wedding tv show, though, it usually inspires me to just get back on the planning wagon.

Post # 16
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

MissRojoOso you rock!

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