- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
This is very long, so bear with me bees! I seem to have found myself in a bit of a pickle concerning one of my BM’s…
A quick prelude: how I picked my BM’s wasn’t typical. I haven’t had any super close girlfriends for a few years and my only true friend was four months pregnant when I was ready to choose my girls, so she decided she couldn’t commit to being in the bridal party. I asked BM #1 who I had known for a couple of years, but never had the chance to get close to and she’s been amazing throughout the entire planning process. I was feeling somewhat depressed and admittedly a little desperate realizing that I had no other friends when I chose Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 who was only an acquaintance. But we got along and she was also mutual friends with Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 so it seemed like a good idea…
Now I’ve pretty much done all of the wedding planning by myself. I’ve only met up with both girls twice in the past six months; once to wedding dress shop and once to look at bridal magazines for inspiration and each time I tried my hardest to make sure I could accommodate their schedules. For their dresses I wanted a whimsical somewhat mismatched look, so we all agreed that they would choose a dress style and then would have their dresses made by a seamstress. Plus it would be a nice little bonding experience for us to go fabric shopping.
I’ve tried for the past six weeks to get Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 to agree on a date to go fabric shopping. Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 has been ready to go every time I’ve asked yet Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 ALWAYS has an excuse. It’s taken so long that the original seamstress I had planned on using informed me that she wouldn’t be able to make their dresses as she was now too busy with the upcoming prom and wedding seasons. I called Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 last Friday and asked if there was anything holding her back from being able to go shopping; if she felt too weighed down with prior obligations or if she needed help with the financial aspect. She assured me everything was fine and agreed to go shopping the next day. Well, 45 minutes before we were set to meet up, Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 texts me and cancels. I was understandably frustrated and so Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 called her to find out if there was any possible way she could make it. She gave her excuse after excuse and admitted that she had bumped our plans to shop in favor of something else that she deemed more important. She also said that she didn’t know we were planning on buying the fabric that day since she had no money (why would we drive 45 minutes just to *look* at the fabric and not buy it??) I told Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 that I would try to reschedule one last time and that if she couldn’t make it, we would have to go without her.
So….I went ahead and planned for this upcoming Saturday. If we don’t go this weekend there won’t be enough time to have the dresses made. Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 has a funeral to attend that afternoon however she’s willing to go early in the morning and get the shopping done regardless. Even with the news that Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 has a funeral to attend (a funeral!) and that this is pretty much the last day we can shop, Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 of course stated she already has plans and can’t go unless we go later in the afternoon. Even if I could move up the time, I now don’t trust that she would make it considering her previous cancellations (I would move the date to a Sunday but only 30% of the shops are open that day and during the week is unfortunately out of the question due to work.)
And I recently found out that Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 is for some reason now solely responsible for the shower coordination which is completely unfair to her. I don’t know what to do. If we don’t get this shopping done, Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 won’t have a dress to wear and won’t be in the wedding. And with how unsupportive and seemingly careless she’s been about making time for wedding plans, I don’t even want her up there anymore. I know I haven’t been a bridezilla- I’ve barely asked for anything! And this is all for *her* dress- wouldn’t you want to make sure you were available to pick out fabric for your dress?? I still want her as a guest at the wedding but she obviously is much too busy to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man right now and it’s not fair to my other girl, especially since there are only two of them (my mother has offered to help Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 as much as possible.) I don’t know what to do…
Sorry for the novel bees….I’m so incredibly stressed by this and I need some advice =/