Post # 1
So many things have been going on lately I don’t even know where to start! First off one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man bailed on me (the only one that was a long time friend) because she couldn’t afford the dress. I’m fine with that and totally understand, but I was just a little bummed. Anyways i replaced her with another girl and now this one is complaining about the price of the dress and she told me she can’t afford it and that is just tough that she will have to make payments. (I told her ASAP how much the dress was and she could have said she can’t do it after all and it is $109) Sometimes I just feel like a burden on others or maybe I am just taking it wrong. I also have another friend who wants to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but I picked every one out back in September, but she said she just feels like no one is helping me and she wants to help and be apart of our day. Next, the best man bailed, he told us this past Friday he can’t get off work after all (even though he requested off a year before the wedding). That he will be doing mandatory training from August to October and will not get A DAY OFF! We both feel like something isn’t right but it’s whatever I guess. He was really hurt and now I want to make it up to him but I don’t know how. I thought about skipping on our bachelor/bachelorrette parties and take him on an awesome pre-wedding trip. But I don’t know if I will regret it later. And the last thing, my mom tells me today that she would have liked for me to get her and my dads help planning and paying for the wedding. I feel so bad…this wedding is pretty much my FI’s wedding and his family. We have argued so much because of it and finally just recently I got through to him that this has to be about me as well and what I want. (I wanted small and intimate, he wants big, I wanted destination he said that was stupid, any ideas I want he says no.) And lastly, Fiance mom told him that it seemed like there was tension between me and his father. The issue she is referring to was 7 years ago and she mentioned another incident that happened 3 years ago. Then why bring it up right? She told Fiance not to tell me but he did anyways because if there is something wrong he wanted to resolve it now. Okay that is fine but seriously bring it up when it happens. To be honest I don’t even know what she is talking about with the second incident. Then who to invite, am I obligated to invite all my relative (aunts, uncles and cousins)? What if I invite a cousin who still lives at home do I invite his parents?
Sorry it is long. I just don’t know what to think anymore. It’s such an emotional rollercoaster.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I think it’s really crappy that you’re having people back out on you, especially with all this advance notice. $109 for a bridesmaid dress is totally reasonable and I’d be pissed if I were in your shoes. Maybe you can talk to the friend who wants to be one. Tell her you appreciate her friendship and her willingness to help and you’d love to include her in your bridal party.
You’re right about the “best man”, something isn’t right. I find it hard to believe that with a year’s notice he can’t get ONE day off. Not cool in my books.
Everything seems pretty crazy and stresssful right now. Maybe take a few days to sit back and relax, take a break from the situation.
Post # 4
I think you should definitely make the non Bridesmaid or Best Man a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She seems really supportive, and that’s what you need right now.
Post # 5
I have 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man who haven’t gone to get their dresses yet. It’s been over a month and a half since the other ones went. I’m having 8 Bridesmaid or Best Man (only because Fiance wanted 8 Groomsmen and I didn’t want it to be uneven). The non Bridesmaid or Best Man friend told me she would go by the dress now that she didn’t have a problem with it. I was going to pick her when the other one backed out but my Fiance and I weren’t sure because her girlfriend is a really good friend of ours also that it seemed awkward to ask one and not the other.
With the Best Man we feel like his fiance is the one not wanting him in the wedding or apart of it. For some reason she doesn’t like us, but she is a person who it has to be all about her and her family and forget everyone else. This guy has been in our life since day one 10 years ago and has always been there for both of us. Maybe it really is his work, but it’s still a little hurtful.
If I can make it through the next 4 and a half months life will be back to normal right? One can only hope!
Post # 6
If your parents really do want to help and contribute is there anything that FI’s parents are doing that you really want? Maybe they can provide that? Special flowers, or a ceremony musician, signature cocktails, a reception dress, a honeymoon trousseau, etc?
Post # 7
@Americano: I think it is more the planning process than contributing that their feelings are hurt. My parents have put the down payment on the venue, paid half of my dress and my mom is paying for the flowers. I didn’t know they were feeling this wey until yesterday. Just kind of left out…she was saying that me, her and my dad could have planned it all (what I want) and they would have paid for everything. But instead it turned out my Fiance took over and allowed his parents to take over. There are some things that they are trying to do without my approval or things i don’t want done. We already had our max of guests we were inviting ahile back and I told Fiance I didn’t want that many so we finally came to an agreement. Before it was 300+ and now it is at max 250. His parents took it upon themselves (which we had talked about before we wouldnt do) to ask THEIR friends for help to pay for or give money for the wedding. I didn’t find out until after, but this means those people will have to be invited if they contribute. Some of these are people neither of us know. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy people are being so generous. I’m just upset because I feel like too many hands and opinions are in the planning process and no one is listening to me. Except my mom of course who hasn’t really been involved.