(Closed) STRESSED…. Need to VENT :(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My fiance is extremely athletic – training does make him very busy, but it makes him HAPPY. It’s how he blows off steam. Our wedding is November 3, and he’s planning to do the Urbanathalon (9km with an obstacle course) in October. He’ll have hurling and Gaelic Football tournaments all summer, Hurling Nationals in September, and Gaelic Football every weekend through the fall. It makes for a lot of sweaty socks.

I know you feel stressed and worn down, but I think that if this is on his bucket list, you should encourage him to do it. It seems like you have a lot on your plate at this time, but there are many months between now and the triathalon, and if he’s anything like my guy, training will help him relax and focus. Sometimes when your world is ruled by things you can’t control, it’s nice to work on YOURSELF. I think it’s what keeps my fiance sane!

It may not be realistic for YOU to take part, although it would be awesome if you could! I am not the athlete my fiance is but I do want to get more fit, so he’s training me for a 5k we’re going to do together this fall (he could run it in his sleep right now). 

If he’s done his triathalon 3 months before the wedding, he’ll be all yours for the busiest parts and won’t be able to use training as an excse to not help you build centerpieces ;o)

Hang in there! 

Post # 4
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KelsieLea7:  Personally, I wouldnt ask him to put this off considering how important it is to him.  But I would talk to him about this, work out some kind of arrangement that works for both of you.  I don’t know how much time in involved in becoming a triathlete, so take this for what it’s worth.  I would approach him like this “Honey, I am so proud of you and truly happy for you.  But to be honest, I’m a little concerned about the timing and how we are going to manage getting everything done.  Can we work out some type of schedule that works for both of us?”  I would also recommend getting as much done as possible now so that there isn’t a ton left in the months leading up.  It’s stressful in the beginning getting everything checked off your list, but it’s a relief to coast in the weeks/months leading up to the big day.  It also wouldnt hurt to just take a long weekend with NO WEDDING TALK.  Just the two of you to give you both a chance to decompress, catch your breath, relax, etc.

Bottom line is this is the start of many trials and tribulations that the two of you will face together, and work through together.  Look at this as an opportunity to learn and grow as a couple.  Good luck.

Post # 5
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why would training impact planning?  Don’t you regularly exercise anyway?  Doesn’t he?

I don’t understand why everything has to stop just because we’re getting married.  Planning doesn’t take a lot of my time AT ALL…and I think I stress about things a lot.  

Post # 6
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think its understandable that you are stressed given you are planning a renovation, moving, a large wedding and fulltime job.. I dont think its selfish at all to be concerned.. i think you should have the conversation with him. my dh is training for his sencond tri this sept.. the training take up a lot of time- given that we work 11hrs a day already, it doesnt leave time for too much else in the day!


Post # 7
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

From my understanding of this post the reason the OP is disappointed is because running the triathlon is something that she wants to do too. I do understand where you are coming from OP in that it seems like your Fiance gets to do whatever he wants (including things you want to partake in also) while you are stuck figuring out all the annoying details of everything else, and it just doesn’t seem fair especially since the things you are doing is for the both of you. I would talk to him about it, let him know how you feel and where you are coming from and see what he says.

Post # 8
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Kinda funny – just last week my Fiance also told me that he’s training for a triathalon, and I had a very similar reaction. I think it’s awesome that he’s doing it, but for selfish reasons I felt like it was somehow getting in the way of other things. On top of that, one of my best friends is training for the same triathalon (which is how he found out about it). I kind of felt like I was left in the dust while they’re both out doing something really good for themselves (and I’m the one who has to look her best in a wedding dress next April!). In the end, I had to suck it up and realize that I was mostly just envious that my Fiance and friend were both setting out to accomplish something that I’m not quite ready for.

Long story short, I get where you’re coming from. Hang in there. Your Fiance will have plenty of opportunities to support you from the sidelines in the future.

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