(Closed) Stressed out ;-/

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

How is the school system by where your SO lives?

Post # 5
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That must be tuff. My SO has two children that he has half the time. He has them every other week for a week. We moved in together and it was hard, still sometimes is. It’s an adjustment period. I can’t imagine how it would be if I had children on top of it. SO’s ex had also tried to make life a living hell so we had the extra stress. ‘It takes time but as long as you both are on the same page and consistant, then you will be just fine. As for children being moved from school, it’s better to do it now then later. Right now they propably don’t have such great friendships developed and will adjust / adapt quickly. Later will be harder.

Post # 6
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As for the cold feet – i totally get what you mean.

I am realy excited about engagment one day and now that I know it will happen before christmas this year, but another day I can’t help but question myself and if I am able to deal with this.

One thing that helps me is to imagine myself living alone, how my evenings would look, imagine that my SO is not there. I generally start missing him very quickly and i know that i can’t be without him and all will be ok 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I was a child in blended families, so I have more experience with that than I would like to admit. I have had 7 different step-siblings. My mother has been married (and divorced) twice and she lived with and was practically married to a third man with 2 kids.  Luckily he had two girls and he had two boys so the girls were in 1 room and the boys were in 1 room. When we got older put another bedroom in part of the garage (it was cheaper than a whole addition and we didn’t put cars in the garage anyway.  My dad has been married (and divorced) 3 times.  His last wife had 3 daughters and my dad had 2. It just worked out that we were 17, 16, 15, 14, and 13 years old. There are few things I can imagine that would be worse than 5 teenage daughters. Blended families can be challenging but this is my best advice…

My mom’s 2nd husband proposed in front of my sister and me (after he did it privately with her). Their marriage meant that we would be moving 8hours away across the state in the middle of the school year. Looking back I like that he proposed in front of the kids and they asked how my sister and I felt about it (we were in 6th and 8th grade). To make the transition easier on the kids, try to avoid having them transfer schools in the middle of the school year. (though i have done it and survived). My sister and i did not get along with the boys, but that changed with time. Even full siblings dont always get along so it makes sense that blended families would have the same problem. On weekends we did a lot of things as a family and over time we got along well. My mom and step dad did a good job of treating their kids and step kids equally and that helped a great deal. Especially with birthdays and Christmas. A united front is important. Bonding activities also made our relationship stronger with step-parents. One of my step dads taught me to ride a bike and how to bake (I still love baking!) and another step-dad and I volunteered for a community band every weekend during the summer bc we both played musical instruments. I think your children are young and flexible enough to handle a move, new schools, and a new family well. Even though my mom and step-dad didn’t work out, i still keep in touch. I still feel like his sons are my brothers and my ex step-dad attended my high school graduation almost 10 years after he and my mom broke up! I’m really close to one of my ex step sisters as well. Blended families are tough but it is totally doable. It is natural that you are worried about it- that just shows how much you care about your children and your relationship. You got this!

Post # 8
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Wow that was longer than I thought- sorry bees!

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