Post # 1
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
Wedding is about four months away and I feel like all control is slipping away from me! Fiance and I moved to NYC in August and our wedding is in our “home city,” so before we left I got all the big things out of the way: dress, venue, ceremony musicians, officiant, caterer, florist.
I recently started a new job that is sucking up almost ALL of my free time. I don’t think I was prepared for the work culture here. I’m at work til 8 or even 9, and I have a dog that I am constantly trying to keep happy. I can’t even keep up with laundry or other housekeeping, and tying up loose wedding ends seems impossible, particularly since we’re so far away.
I still need to:
- Figure out the rest of the decorations for the reception
- Book DJ equipment and ask our friend to DJ (hope he says yes)
- Figure out ceremony, cocktail dinner, and reception music (started a bit on reception music but just barely)
- For ceremony music, we need to send sheet music to our string band
- Decide if we want to do a first dance right away or after dinner
- Ask caterer to do a dessert buffet because we waited too long to decide if we wanted cake or not and now all the affordable and pretty cakes are booked in town
- Register for gifts (we started a registry but I hate everything in it and neither Fiance nor I have time to think about what we want our home to look like because we’re never home! We just started looking at what I’ve done online and got into a huge argument – we can’t afford nice things so this our only shot in the foreseeable future to have a nice home, but he made a valid point that we are in NYC and we have no room for nice things)
- Get the bridesmaids to meet with the designer and ask them to get shoes
- Finish up invites
- Get vintage stamps somehow for the invites
- Book make-up artist
- Order groom’s wedding band
- Book a flight to our home city so I can do a second fitting and perhaps a bachelorette party, which I think nobody will bother planning for me
- Decide what to do in our ceremony
- Tell the groomsmen to put in their measurements for their suits (PS – I hate the rental shoes that go with our gray suits, but am not sure it’s kosher to ask the groomsmen to buy shoes and we can’t really afford to buy them for the groomsmen – plus, one of our friends gave shoes to the groomsmen as their gifts too, so it seems like a repeat)
- Figure out traditions for the ceremony
- FI’s mom wants us to have a priest to bless the ceremony but we can’t seem to make this work and I’m getting so much pressure from her!
- Ask my cousins if their kids want to be our co-flower girl and ringbearer
- Book a flight home for the ceremony
- Ask for vacation time for wedding
Just needed to delineate everything that’s left. Why can’t I muster the energy to tackle this stuff and get it done?! I wish I could hire a wedding coordinator but we’re already over budget.
Post # 3
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
I think you and I are the same person… I just posted about this the other day and my list was that long and my stress level that high!
Post # 5
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
Delegate some responsibilities to your fiance.
Don’t feel too bad; our wedding is also in June and we have so much to do!
Post # 6
Bee
6468 posts
Bee Keeper
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Yes, try and delegate wherever you can! I hear you on just starting a new job – it’s like I have literally NO time left to do anything now. It sucks. Just keep swimming!
Post # 7
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
I’d love to delegate to my fiance, but he is in grad school and has even less time than me. 🙁 I know it’ll all get done, but can’t seem to gather the energy to do it myself. Meanwhile, time keeps ticking! I should probably find people in my home city to help out. Hmmm…
Thanks for listening, all!
Post # 8
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
@noodlesploosh: we’re date twins! 🙂
Like PPs have said, can you delineate certain tasks out or make them easier on yourself?
IE:
*have your mom look for flights home for you? / look up traditional ceremony things and have her send them to you so at least you cut out the time spent searching?
*give groomsmen responsibilities to FI? IE have him send an email out to all the guys letting them know where/when they need to send their measurements?
*talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor & give her the info on meeting with the designer (maybe a phone call on your drive home from work or something?) and see if she’d be willing to send an email out to all the BMs letting them know what they need to do
*regular stamps. If it’s just going to stress you out, do you REALLY need vintage stamps? We as brides obsess over little details but I doubt any of your guests will really care if it’s vintage vs regular postage on their invitations
*Call your cousins on your way home from work so it doesn’t take out time from your free time when you get home (what little you have)
*Can you make phone calls during work hours? Or can your FI? Could either of you make a few phone calls at work during a lunch or something for asking your friend to DJ & calling caterer, or any of those other calls you need to make?
Since your wedding is in your hometown could your parents even pitch in & help by meeting with the caterer or making the phone call for the dessert bar?
Good luck! Try not to stress too much! 🙂
Post # 9
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
Sorry you are so stressed! But welcome to New York! It is the most amazing city and I really hope that you enjoy it here once you settle into work and your new place!
Post # 10
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
Awww, I’m so sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed 
. I had that moment a few weeks ago and just cut some projects or delegated it out to close friends and family…and cried into a glass of wine with a side of brie. I’m sure once you settle into your new routine everything will fall into place as it should. Chin up and best of luck!
Post # 11
Member
14490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I will look up my cake person for you when I get my computer back from the shop tomorrow. PM me and I will send you her name and number, she is awesome, affordable, and only has our easy cakes that day so I know she can do yours. If you need any help in our hometown, just let me know as I have lots of free time. I will also send you a name for a wedding coordinator, she is good and is only charging us a few hundred but she also has a few people that work with her that are really inexpensive. If you need a cocktail when you get back just let me know 
.
Post # 12
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
@tksjewelry: Aw thanks!!! I think we are just doing the dessert buffet anyway. It cuts down on stress and it’s one less thing that needs to be “designed.” Please, do send me the name of your coordinator! I think it’s time for an intervention. If it’s not too expensive, it might be worth it.
Oh, and, YES to the cocktail. 🙂