Post # 1
I am new to this blog/website but not new to anxiety at all. Just on how to handle it! My fiance and I have been together for 14 years, of which 7 of them have been engaged. I know, that is horrible in most traditional minds, but opinions of us are not warranted here.
I need to vent about the anxiety I am having. I am not a very frilly girl, and never dreamed of a wedding when I was little. I just saw myself on a beach somewhere, barefoot. That’s all. My original “wedding them” was entirely a very detailed Japanese wedding, including traditional Japanese wedding attire for myself and my bridesmaids, and exchange of sake before vows. Neither of us are Japanese, we just love their culture. Due to the many conflicting opinions of us doing a “cultural” wedding, both political and religious, we decided to not have it. The cost also was way too much and we both come from very large families, so the reception would be rather costly. So, we both decided to have a destination wedding in Negril, Jamaica at Sandals. After 14 years of bliss, why not?? We booked our trip and it is paid for, I found the dress of my dreams and now am searching for his attire. In the process of this, I have lost a part of myself, lost sight of our dream and are consistently worrying about what everyone else feels. I have been taking Xanax as prescribed by my doctor for anxiety (long before getting engaged) so I am not new to stress. However, the feelings of “cold feet”, are completely new to me. I truly love my fiance and he is my soulmate, but why do I feel these things and why do I worry about what everyone else thinks? Why don’t I take time to consider what I want for a change. Please let me know your thoughts and stressed out times, so I no longer feel alone……I feel completly strung out and when I think of my big day, I cry…..
Post # 3
It’s a roller-coaster ride for all of us, but if you’re feeling this way to the point it’s keeping you from enjoying life, you might want to talk to a counselor. This all might be triggering some other issues that you may not be consciously aware of. A counselor could help you with that.
Post # 4
When you’ve stayed together so long already, you’ve obviously figured out how to ‘be’ together successfully. You’re going on a fantastic holiday, where you’re going to get married. Go you! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Ginny’s right though, if things are getting on top of you like this, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to somebody qualified.
Don’t fret about a theme – you’re removing a lot of the stress by going casual beachside. You do know, there will be other parties – if you have children, lots of them – that you can decorate to your heart’s content! Do what makes you and him happy! You don’t mention his reaction to your feelings?
Post # 5
Ginnyc- Amazing, I actually have an appointment to talk to a therapist about all my anxiety related issues- I fell it is definitely needed. And has been before the wedding planning started! …. I am sure once it is all out in the open, I will be able to have “closure” in areas that have been lacking and be able to move on with my life- truly, I thank you for your thoughts.
Aunt pol-My fiance thinks I am losing my mind when I talk to him! (and he is kind of right really! lol) he just wants to marry me and see the other half of the ring finally on my finger. He wants me to carry his last name, no matter if it is in a church, the JOP, a park, or Jamaica, as long as we become one. Thanks for the compliment on being a successful couple- we just bought a home a year ago next month, and WOW that has been a ride. A wonderful ride, but a lot to take in all at once, especially with planning a wedding at the same time.