Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married the end of August in 2013. We have done a large chunk of the planning with only a few “small to medium-sized” things left.
My mom has been pretty opinionated lately about various items (i.e. stationery, invites, flowers) and has not been the nicest about it. We have been arguing intermittently, and the stress has been rubbing off on my fiance.
My husband to be is starting to become somewhat stressed out, and even told me the other day that he’s not as excited for the wedding as he used to be. Any thoughts on how I can cheer him up and get him back into enjoying the wedding planning?
I’m looking forward to it and I want it to be special and have us get back into the “fun” of planning, but I’m just not sure how.
Post # 3
haha…let him off the hook? I don’t know about yours…but my Fiance would probably be miserable if I forced him to help me with invites or flowers or decor. Honestly all he cares about is getting married and having a good time at the reception. He doesn’t care about colors, flowers, etc. Since I’m the one that cares about that stuff…I take care of that part of the wedding planning. I’m not sure if he remembers what our colors even are… He will have to help me do some things when the time comes (help plan the actual ceremony, get addresses) but I let him off the hook about the cake, decor, colors, photographer, flowers, invites…
But I also enjoy doing the wedding planning by myself because it’s easier with only my opinions! Maybe I’m just too controlling/bossy in this aspect of our lives so I prefer to do it myself. If you have the major things done (I assume you mean vendors?)…what else do you have left??
Oh, and sometimes it gets overwhelming so maybe you can just not do anything for a few weeks and let him regroup.
Post # 4
@golfchik: I have to agree with PP! Let him off the hook. Maybe even take a break from wedding planning completely for a week or two, that way you’re not tempted to talk about it in front of him. Maybe take him out and have a date night that is catered around him to thank him for being a trooper so far! Take him to his favorite restaurant and do something he wants to do (basketball game? play pool? something like that!)
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
I think that we all have those times when we’re less exicted when bogged down in the details. My Fiance would hate for me to “let him off the hook” because, as he says, this is his wedding too, and he wants to be involved at least partially in all the decisions. Maybe put the stressful stuff on the back burner for a week or two, and take some time to just hang out the two of you and go on dates and remember why you want to have a wedding. Then get the list back out and divide and conquer. And maybe talk to your mom about the stress she’s adding? Or if she cares so much, and if you don’t care as much, give her some tasks related to the things she’s opinionated about. They don’t have to be final decisions, but something to make her feel like she’s being heard and whatnot.
Post # 6
@golfchik: My Fiance gets stressed very easily so I try not to bother him with the small stuff. Lately his mother has been driving him up the wall and he is beyond ready to move out of her house. To cheer him up I usually cook him a meal I know he will love and give him a neck massage. 🙂 Maybe that will help.
Post # 7
My Fiance and I have been under sooooo much stress lately, and it seems to be in just about every part of our lives (the wedding, our living situation, family stuff, our jobs, a new dog, and I just had surgery!), and I feel bad that he’s so flat out. He definitely likes being involved in the planning, so I can’t really let him off the hook, per se, but we’ve been trying to tackle the stress by planning some low-key dates and getting the most of our alone time. It’s helping, albeit slowly, but it’s nice to see him perk up a bit more – and of course a few shoulder rubs here and there help 😉
Post # 8
Perhaps take a break from discussing planning and especially any fights between yourself and your mom, try to keep that to yourself. Like don’t talk about wedding stuff on the phone with your mom where FH can overhear you.
Then you and FH should go out and something fun togehter with mo mention if wdding stuff unless he brings it up.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@golfchik: Take 1 week off wedding planning with no exceptions! No discussing the wedding and/or wedding planning for a solid week. Also, plan an outing to do something he likes to do such as a baseball or basketball game or take him to his favorite restaurant. Ultimately, the wedding and wedding planning will end and you will want him realize that wedding planning is (thankfully!) not what being married is like.
Post # 10
Do the same as he’s done for you when you’re getting stressed about your wedding planning.