(Closed) Stressed out…..(Super long VENT)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

1.  Deep breath!!  πŸ™‚

2. I totally understand Mother-In-Law not listening to you.  Mine doesn’t listen to me either.  She just wants to do everything her way, so now to keep my stress at bay, I’m letting her do things she wants to do (hel-LO?  She is plastering a HUGE picture of Fiance and I on the water bottle labels for the Out of Town bags… soooo weird…).  Can you take the fans back?  Or…. “lose them” before the wedding? πŸ˜‰  I think your Mother-In-Law means well, and probably doesn’t really “get” the whole program-doubling-as-fan business because she is probably not stalking wedding blogs like the rest of us.  Have you shown her a picture of what you’re doing for programs?

3. Groomsman needs to figure out his own way to the wedding, whether it is carpool or city bus or taxi cab.  He is an adult, and he will figure it out.  Your responsibility is to make sure that people know where to be and when.  And as far as him pestering you about whether or not his Fiance is involved in the wedding- obviously, if she were, she would know by now.  Do not feel like you have you justify your reasons for not giving her a “job” in your wedding.  If he asks again if his Fiance is involved, I would very sweetly say that her attending as a guest is good enough for you πŸ™‚

It’s alllll going to be ok πŸ™‚

Post # 4
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

aw man. I’m sorry!

Keep your chin up. MIL’s are tricky business – and yours seems to have lots of opions and not the pockets to fulfill her ideas. Good for you for explaining your positions and saying “no” – It’d be really easy to give in and end up spending lots of $$$ you don’t want to!

As for guys, sometimes they just want to be told what to do. 

While I can’t totally related to your situations, I really HATE when my mom jokes about me being a bridezilla. I actually hate that term. Its rude and insensitive. There are a million decisions to be made, its tiring. haha By The Way, I’m not crazy either. I’ve been pretty laid back. Let people get their own dresses, etc. Took lots of consideration in helping our guests, taken care of transportation for our parents. Facilitated and included our moms whenever possible. 

Just because we get cranky/annoyed, doesn’t make us bridezillas. Give a girl a break… DONT WORRY! Youre doing great, being polite. Hang in there!

Post # 6
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I can relate! My mom wanted us to cut our guest list so she could invite more people. So, our  single friends are not allowed to bring guests, which I guess is okay but her friends all get to bring dates because they are “adults”. Um hello, we are about 30! She did not pull out the “bridezilla” but called me selfish and told me that “sometimes people like to do things for others”.

Another story: at my baby shower she called me controlling because I did not like her menu options I got to choose from- fried chicken, sloppy joes, or a taco bar. I’m sorry but if people are getting dressed up for something, it’s all women, and it’s in April, these are not good choices. Plus, most of my family members are very healthy eaters.

Maybe have Fiance talk to his mom about paying for the umbrellas, even pay half. And see if you can return the fans. As for the Groomsmen, why are some guys so helpless? Hopefully he can figure it out on his own.

Post # 7
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m so sorry!  Although I can’t relate (my Mother-In-Law has been wonderful so far), I can offer my advice / opinion.

First – with Mother-In-Law and umbrellas/fans – you absolutely should NOT have to pay for those.  She went out and purchased things you don’t want without your permission.  That is her fault and she should not be asking you to now pay for them.  Just because she thought they’d be nice doesn’t mean they are your responsibility.  If she really wants them to be at the reception (and you’re willing to let them be there), they should be at her expense.

Second – with the groomsman – I’d just call him back and (nicely) tell him what you said.  You’ve got a lot on your plate right now figuring out last minute stuff so he’ll need to call the other groomsman himself and find he and his Fiance a ride in the carpool.  I’m sure he’ll understand and be willing to do so once he’s told you aren’t organizing the carpool.

Try not to stress out too much!  And don’t worry about people thinking you’re a bridezilla – I’m sure you aren’t and you sound like you’re being quite reasonable!

Post # 8
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i recommend a hot bubble bath with some wine and a book.  works wonders at making those annoying voices fade away ….

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