- 4 years ago
Hello! Not wedding related, but just looking for advice/tips from any of you who have navigated this situation (it will probably be long winded,sorry!)
I am 25 (will be 26 in a few months), my fiance is 29 (going to be 30 soon). I have been working as an RN (BSN prepared) for three years and have begun looking at going back to school to complete my Doctorate in Nursing Practice (DNP). Most of the programs are 3-4 years, full time, and most of the coursework is online so I would still be able to work. My fiance served eight years in the military, just completed his AS and has two more years of school until he graduates with two bachelor degrees (SO proud of him!). He would eventually like to go back for his masters, as well. It should be somewhat easy for him to get a job, as he will be working in an in-demand career in the medical field. Our wedding is planned for fall 2016, since he will graduate in May of 2016 and wanted to be done with school before getting married.
Recently I have been getting very overwhelmed with all of the things I want to “accomplish” in the next 10ish years: get married, earn my DNP, move closer to my parents, buy a house, start a family. I get stressed when I think of the “timeline”….I know I want to be done with my education before TTC as I think it would be too hard to pursue doctorate level studies with young children. However, we have talked about it extensively and decided I should wait until he is done with school before I go back, so the earliest I could start school would be fall 2016, with a graduation year of 2019, and I would be 30ish by then, and Fiance will be 34/35. I will obviously need to work for at least a year to get paid maternity leave….so that means I would be 31/32 before even TTC! Fiance is somewhat upset about this as he wants to be a “young dad” and doesn’t want to have his first kid when he is in his late 30s, but agrees that my educational goals are important and he supports them. I’m not too worried about my own fertility since my mom had my yiunger sisters at 32 and 38. He also points out that we may need to move for him to find a job (we are currently in the Midwest and he has been told that his career field is saturated around here) which I am okay with since i can work pretty much anywhere. But we won’t know if we have to move until he starts applying for jobs, which will be the same time we are getting married and I will be starting school. It’s just ALOT (And definitely first world problems…. :-/) I know we will figure it all out but its just weighing on me lately. Luckily he won’t accrue any student debt since the GI bill pays for his schooling; I have student loans from my undergrad which will hopefully be paid off by 2019 – right on time to start paying back my DNP loans…. Yikes!
How have some of you dealt with similar situations (juggling wedding, education, TTC timelines….)? Thanks!