(Closed) Stressed to the max and upset at fiance, advice!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so so so so sorry that you’re deal with all this. It sounds like you both may need to take a look at your work and see if the stress and time is really worth it. And I really hope that things get easier after the wedding. But it’s really important to take a deep breath. Figure out if this is just something to get over for a day or something that needs a more long term solution. We all have moments of weakness so don’t be too hard on yourself. Think about the good things in your relationship. And cross your fingers that it gets less stressful! Good luck!

Post # 5
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

((((–)))) Working and wedding planning are really tough. He really could have been nicer to you, however if he was drinking he probably wasnt thinking straight. With that being said, hes also probably super stressed and as long as he wasn’t streaking through the restaurant, you maybe could have tried to over look that he may have had a bit to drink. If you werent wedding planning, you probably wouldn’t even be posting this, but because both of yall nerves are shot, it became a problem. He will call back, they always do. And In My Humble Opinion, I think a mutual apology from each of you is deserved.

Post # 6
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh trust me, we’ve all been there.

DH and I were both working full time and going to school at night the summer we got married.  The only day I took off was the day before the wedding (the rehearsal day) and started school again the Thursday after the wedding, so we didn’t even take a honeymoon.  I was very easy going throughout all the planning, but at the end, it did get to me too.  I was ready to chuck everything out the window.

There’s probably no way to cut back on your work and hopefully this is just a busy time that will pass.  Remember that nothing stays the same forever (that can be both good and bad!) and the fact that your Fiance has started a new job has compounded things.  Starting a new job is stressful no matter when you start it so try to step back and remember that.

Wedding stress is temporary.  Think about what it is about the wedding that’s stressing you out.  Is it details that only you (and maybe your mother) will notice?  Is it the fact that Fiance is not that focused on the wedding? (My DH could care less about the details – his attitude was basically tell me where and when I need to show up, and most guys are like that too)  As everyone will tell you, the wedding is one day.  Nothing is perfect; there will be some hiccups.  After the wedding I guarantee you will look back and wonder why you got so stressed out about some things.

Post # 7
1376 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

AshleyR83 Why did you get upset about his drinking? Does it relate to the wedding, like he was going to work on wedding stuff on his computer but then he couldn’t do it? Or was it non-wedding related such as you were worried about him making a bad impression on his coworkers? Has he had problems with drinking in the past?

Post # 9
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

Every couple fights differently, but I would say your best bet is to just let it go right now and focus on yourself. After you’re done with work, try and relax somehow (bubble bath?) and forget about it. Unless his drinking is a problem normally, or he has other anger issues besides just hanging up on you (which is obnoxious, but not a big deal) then just write it off as an isolated incident. If this kind of thing happens regularly, then you need to think about solutions, but don’t push the panic button over this one incident. 

Post # 10
244 posts
Helper bee

well, i’m confused… he just started a new job but you’d rather have him concentrate on your wedding?  you should’ve cut him some slack :/  if he was on a work trip, i probably wouldn’t have expected him to do what you asked until he got home with you.

Post # 13
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In all honesty if he was drunk it was probably better that he missed the work dinner. I think he should try to make a better early impression on his coworkers and stay closer to sober when he is out with them.

Post # 14
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

He was drunk before he had to go to a meeting with his NEW colleagues? Shouldn’t he be trying to make a good impression? That would be the thing that would piss me off the most

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