Post # 1
I have been engaged for 18 months and asked my friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor within 24 hours of getting engaged. 10 months ago I told her that we would be having a destination wedding and asked if she would still be interested and she said yes, she wouldn’t miss it. I will be covering the cost of her dress, shoes, hair, makeup and 10 days of accomodations – all because I knew the flights could get expensive. She said that was fine and I promised to help her find a good deal. I also have told her not to plan a shower (she said that she couldn’t afford it) or a bachlorette party, that I don’t expect it.
In the meantime, she found out that she is pregnant (she will be 6.5 months at the wedding – I am very happy for her!), she bought a house and may or may not have a job. I totally understand that buying flights is probably at the bottom of her list of things to do but it is driving me insane that she hasn’t done it yet. Wedding is in 11 weeks weeks now, I found her a great deal a few months ago and she did not book, now flights are $200 more and I have stopped asking her what she is doing so I don’t drive her crazy. I thought it was a money issue but every time I see her she has bought some new fancy item (that usually costs about the same as a roundtrip flight).
Basically I just needed to vent. FI thinks I should just tell her that its stressing me out but I feel like she has so much on her plate right now that I don’t want to add to it.
Post # 3
@destinationwdw: Two things caught my eye: “may or may not have a job” and the “10 days of accomodation”. If I wasn’t sure I was going to have a job, I’d probably be hesitant about going for the whole 10 days. Perhaps she’d rather fly in and out and only stay 2 nights? Perhaps she’s waiting to closer to the date to make that decision?
And 11 weeks is still a long time. Only you know how reliable a person she is. But if my best friend told me she was going to be somewhere, I wouldn’t doubt her because she hadn’t booked 11 weeks ahead. I think this is a situation where all you can do is trust her to do it.
Post # 4
I should clarify, we booked a condo for 10 days bc we will be there all week but I have said from day one that she could stay as long as she wants, what would work – be it 2 days or 10, she was welcome with way.
Post # 5
My question is more specific to the comment about fancy new items:
Are these for her newborn baby? New house? These things could be out of necessity
Or are they splurges?
Post # 6
Splurges, nothing for the baby or house…new phone (her old one was a year old), second iPad, treadmill…I suppose what a splurge to me might not be to others.
and as for her job, I seem more concerned that she doesn’t have a new job lined up than she does.
I know that this just sounds like a big pity party, I just feel a little slighted that an iPhone 5 takes precidence over a flight to my wedding.
Post # 7
To be fair…a person can get a phone ‘upgrade’ with most companies without coming out of pocket.
Unless she got some sort of stellar deal on the treadmill/ipad…I do think you are justified.
Have you asked her if she is okay to get her plane ticket? Perhaps a gentle reminder that tickets only get more expensive as every hour passes will help.
Hang in there!! Not a pity party-you are paying for everything else…the LEAST she can do is reassure you that her transportation is in tact.