- 3 months ago
Being in the wedding industry, my fiance and I have seen it all. We’ve seen traditional weddings can usually be stressful, expensive, chaotic and have no time to really enjoy it or talk to guests. It’s all a performance, and neither of us want that – let alone afford it. We also see that traditional weddings do have a ton of precious moments that you typically wouldn’t get any other time.
My side of the family is insane – I have stopped talking to my narcissistic mother and sister (I’ve talked to my mom civilly three times in a year, sister 0.) last August, and have recently started to reconnect with my dad after 7 years. He is a recovered alcoholic and our relationship is now great. My parents are divorced and are both remarried but they still don’t get along. I’m uncertain if there would be any drama between them the day of the wedding. I can say for sure my fiance’s divorced parents can be civil and have a good time together. I’m very close to my younger brother. My family situation is just crazy and is part of the reason I don’t want a traditional wedding where we live.
My fiance and I have discussed eloping just the two of us, but a good part of me isn’t feeling it. I don’t think it’ll feel like a “wedding” without people. I want my family and friends there (max of 35 people) so that we can still have those special moments and bonds with them. I want people to be happy for and with us. I want something small, intimate, relaxed and casual in a different state. I was really thinking about renting a vacation home with a large yard or deck where we can have the ceremony and a casual dinner and just hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Maybe some dancing. But the more I think about it, I get anxiety thinking about the drama that will arise with a bunch of people traveling, and having my dysfunctional family in a house together with minimal people. They’d get their own lodging, so we can have our own space as newlyweds while having the option of doing things with guests during the week.
I just don’t even know what route to go. I’m an overthinker, and I stress so easily until I have a game plan. What would or have you done?