- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2016
My DH and I are starting to not enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas anymore, and it’s very sad. I’m going to try and make a long story short..
We have no kids, but absolutely love spending time together. His family is about 1 hr away, and my family is about 1.5 hrs away. Every Thanksgiving and X-mas are becoming a nightmare, not fun. We have a very hard time deciding if were going to go to both families on the same day, if so, which family do we go to first. Each family has to call us 5 times asking us where we are, what time were coming, etc. I know both sides want to see us, but it’s not fun for us anymore. We do feel obligated to go to both families on the same day, so no one feels left out. DH and I get upset/tense with eachother as he asks me what I want to do, whose house I want to go to first. The first house we go to, is the house we don’t get to spend a lot of time with, feels very rushed, as we have to get to the other house as we have to drive a long way. It’s like X-mas, we RUSH around at our house to eat breakfast and open gifts, then get ready and spend all day on the road, going to two families. Each family wants to feel important, but on the other hand, if we go to my parents house first, I get irritated because we are there for an hour, then go to his parents, and spend 5 hours there. On the other hand, if we go to his parents first it’s the same thing. Nothing can be fair and even.
We are unable to host at our house at this time.
We have thought about not going to either house on the actual holiday, but it doesn’t always work to go the following weekend, etc..And DH feels guilty as both our parents are not in the best health. It’s just getting very frustrating, and it’s not fun for us anymore. There was one year where DH and I stayed home on both holidays and we loved it. We made a feast for the two of us, but like I said, DH doesn’t really want to do that anymore as both parents are not in the absolute best health. There is always one family that gets the short end of the stick, and if that’s my side, I’m upset, if it’s his, he gets upset.
It doesn’t always work for us to go eith the day before or after the actual holiday, depending on everyones work schedule.
Looking for advice, as it’s not fun being mad at each other during the holidays.