Stringing along?

posted 1 month ago in Waiting
Post # 16
1481 posts
Bumble bee

“I would just ask him point blank why he gave you a timeline that he seemed to have no intention of following through on.” 100% this bee. 

2 years at 38 is PLENTY of time, is he kidding?!! In all honesty having that attitude at 38 is a HUGE red flag. Someone who is 38 should know what they want and have a strong desire to settle down and not waste time doing that. I am 34 and my boyfriend is 33. We started discussing getting married 6 months in. When you know you know. 

Don’t get frustrated just sit down with him and ask him why he gave you a timeline that he didn’t follow through on? Let him talk and see what he says. The main thing is that you want to finish the conversation with a short but firm timeline. Id say give him 4 months to propose. Things to say:

– I would like to be engaged by X month. how does that sound? 

– (if he is resisting setting a timeline, or doesn’t even wanna talk about it) I am not willing to devote an unlimited amount of time to a relationship that isn’t headed towards marriage in the next year. I am 33 and I want children so If this relationship isn’t going there I need to move on. 

I totally get where you are coming from. Please please don’t waste your time as you do want children. Don’t tell him what your walk date is, but I suggest you internally say to yourself, if he doens’t propose by say 6 months from now, you walk away from him and move on. And if he complains about 2 years not being enough time, tell him that you really don’t appreciate him saying that. 2 years of your time is valuable and should be treated as so. If he doesn’t value the last 2 years of your time, than perhaps you should move on. Put yourself first bee. The rest will follow. 

Post # 18
2509 posts
Sugar bee

beekind2 :  You did a great job of making your needs clear – and calling him on his bullshit excuse (waiting for everything to be “perfect” – give me a break). Now stick to your walk date and make sure that he’s well aware of it. And please, don’t get pregnant until you’re at least engaged. There’s no percentage in it. 

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