(Closed) Strip club… but no lap dances?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I understand a lot of women feel the way you do about strip clubs. It personally doesn’t bother me. I think if it was about 5 yrs ago I would have had a fit but I trust my Fiance totally and say knock yourself out.  Don’t get me wrong this can’t be a regular thing but for the bachelor party go ahead. Plus he hates germs so I can’t see him letting them do to much LOL

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If your Fiance is strong enough to say “no” and mean it, then you’ll be fine. If you think he’ll waver and give in, even under the influence of alcohol (which i only understand to an extent–even when I drink heavily I still maintain my wits about me).

It’s not a matter of whether or not your FI’s friends listen…it’s a matter of what your Fiance does. He’s right, you do have to trust him. If he knows how you feels about them and respects them, he’ll maintain the hands off mentality and hopefully mention it to his buds ahead of time. But if he’s a pushover about it, his buddies will get their way. You know him well enough–is he the kind of guy who can say no, mean it, and that be that?

Post # 5
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My personal opinion is that bachelor parties are the opportunity for the groom’s friends to act like drunken frat boys.  I wouldn’t want my Fiance giving me “rules” for my bachelorette party and therefore, I will not be giving him “rules” for his.

You’ve told him how you feel.  If he feels comfortable with his guys saying “no lap dances” then that’s great.  But if something were to happen, I would just let it go.  Keep in mind that everyone will be drunk and all his friends will be putting him under tons of pressure to do this kind of stuff.  Personally, my Fiance would be mortified to tell all his buddies, “my Fiance said I couldn’t have any lap dances.”

Just trust him.  It’s just a strip club, and nothing is going to be taken too far.

Post # 6
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe I am wrong, but I think it’s unrealistic. His best man will want to show him a good time and will be trying to buy him lap dances.

I also don’t understand girls who say “this is not a trust issue”. I personally think it is. Fiance and I have not really talked about boundaries for our bachelor and bachelorette parties because we trust each other. I certainly would not want Fiance telling me what I can and cannot do during my bachelorette party and I won’t be telling him what he is allowed to do or not do during his bachelor party. To me strip clubs are not a big deal. I know my Fiance is having fun with his friends, but to me a lap dance means nothing of substance.  Maybe I also feel this way because my Fiance is not very into going to strip clubs. He has been a couple of times for friend’s bachelor parties and will go for his, but not super interested in strippers. 

Post # 7
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

1) His friends are going to buy him lap dances anyway.

2) They aren’t a big deal. I think you should go to the strip club with him before the bachelor party to see what kind of things happen there. It might be a fun “warm up” (if you’re sexually active) and you can maybe talk to some of the girls there and let them know your concerns. Remember, they’re women just like you are, not automatons so perhaps you can find one to tell you the real deal.

3) If you tell him no strip clubs, his friends will just get a stripper to come to wherever they are anyway.

Post # 9
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I feel the same way you do about strip clubs and I have asked Fiance to respect that rule whenif he goes for someone else’ bachelor party. But, the guys are going to buy him one whether he wants it or not. He is the bachelor and I don’t know how he would stop them. Can they go someplace else? If they do go, I think you are just going to have to trust him. I know you mentioned physical contact, but there can never be any physical contact even during a lap dance.

Post # 10
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Boobs and alcohol don’t mix. Sorry. If you are against a dance, I say mention camping or white water rafting.

Post # 11
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that if you trust your guy, then it should be fine. They don’t have to get a lapdance becasue they go to the strip club.

Post # 12
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Picture saying, “Babe I’d rather you and the boys visit the Museum of Natural History instead of a Strip club”. LOL

Post # 13
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My stance (and he knows this) is that strip clubs are okay, but no touching. And the strippers must stay in their “natural habitat” (i.e. the club, no strippers to be sent to a hotel room).

Post # 14
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i would trust my fi. however, this is how it went with my husband. we had the same discussion, i’m ok with the strip club but not with any girls who ha rubbing all over him. he said of course he’s fine with that rule, but there’s no way in hell his friends are NOT going to buy him a lap dance for his bachelorette party, that’s why they’re going there. he said instead of dealing with them, he’d rather just not go.

but your fi has different friends, you know him, you know best. and hopefully you’re not marrying a guy you can’t trust. so i would trust him.

Post # 15
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

No going to the Champagne room! LOL

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