Strip clubs. Bachelor parties. What really goes on.

posted 6 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Please comment & feel free to ask questions, but please don't be mean! Thanks :)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Happilymarried12:  Thanks for sharing your experiences/knowledge with us.  This may become a heated debate especially because no woman wants to think her man would ever do that.  Anyways, everyone has their beliefs so I hope we all play nice.

    This is one of the reasons I hate strip clubs though.  I find them to be disgusting (not so much strippers, but the environment).  Luckily, Fiance doesn’t really care for them and has been kicked out of one for being an asshole.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I am one who believes that strip clubs is “cheating” why would you go out to look at other naked women when you are in a relationship and getting ready to marry in a few weeks/days?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @happyface:  I am the same way! Looking at other naked or semi-naked women when you are in a relationship is cheating, sorry. It’s different than looking at the sports illustrated swimsuit issue too – those women, though scantily clad, are not available to do anything but look at a static picture. Lust after them as much as you want, but nothing is ever going to happen. Not the case with in-the-flesh strippers.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yes of course this is all true, I’d never debate it.  But the fact remains that my husband is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions.  I do not tell him what he can and can not do, however he knows my definition of cheating and he knows what I view as disrespectful behavior.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Thank you too for sharing! I trustmy man but as you say if he is SUPER wasted ( and I have seen him at that point) he is so out of it I can easily see how stuff could happen. My Fiance really didn’t want to go to vegas and i thought it was really weird how against it he was for his party but I guess I see why, he has been to them there and knows what goes on. He didn’t go to one of his best friends bachlor party in vegas and maybe now I know why. He is having one in tahoe. All I could think was strippers. What the hell else is there out there? His best man was all yeah, we’re going golfing in the morning ..um i’m not stupid. His best man is happily married and not a dog at all BUT I know him…married guy with two toddlers at home…oh yeah he wants to party! It is just not fair. smh.

    Post # 9
    Member
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Lt.Columbo:  I agree completely. Just as I am a grown ass woman and will have a stripper at my bachlorette if I want to. We both know what we think is acceptable and if we can’t follow those expectations then what the heck are we doing in this relationship?

    Post # 10
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    “What you should really be able to trust is that he would see through all the bullshit this society feeds us and forgo the whole thing from the beginning because guess what? He isn’t single!” 

    Totally.

    If you don’t allow strippers as part of your relationship normally, why should it be considered ok before the wedding? – it’s not a “last hurrah as a single person” because you’re in a committed relationship already.

    Needless to say, we feel no need to have strippers at our parties. If I was told I’d have a stripper at my party I’d excuse myself since I’d want my Fiance to do the same. 

    I can think of better ways to spend my time celebrating my upcoming nuptuals than watching some random person dangling their body parts in front of me.

    Thank you for sharing your insight.

    I also don’t want to feed into the industry that perpetuates so many problems for the people who work within it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Happilymarried12:  Thanks for sharing. I agree that nice guys can get carried away when they thing a hot girl is into them. I think it’s better to not be put in an environment of temptation, so I prefer that my fiance to stay out of strip clubs. There are many other ways to have fun.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2750 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!!

    What have you said to your Fiance about his bach party?

    Post # 13
    Member
    986 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    WOW…. puts it all in a new light for me. Thank you

    Post # 14
    Member
    8438 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @Happilymarried12:  I am really sorry that you had such a bad experience during your time as a stripper. But I think you are using your experiences (which you are entitled to share) to scare and guilt and worry other brides. There are a lot of reputable business within the industry and lets face it they are a business and it is in their best interest to play by the rules and not get a bad reputation.

    I spent 3 years researching the sex industry (here in Australia ) and did many research trips to other parts of the world (Amsterdam, Thailand, Vegas) and yes there are some shady operators. I also worked undercover (as a door bitch) in a couple of places including a brothel to gain a better understanding of the industry and the one thing I learnt is that ultimately it comes down to the patron. I think using the excuse that strip clubs and their workers are evil and manipulative is just that an excuse. A grown adult either knows what is right or wrong and allowable within his/her relationship and either has respect for their partner or not.

    Do we blame the grocery store for having a chocolate aisle for breaking a diet? or the Shoe store for blowing your budget because they put the monolos in the front window? Do we blame the gun store when someone legally buys a gun  but then goes postal and goes on a killing spree? I think it is a pitiful excuse to blame the clubs, workers and the friends who organise the party when ultimately it is the individuals choice what actions they take. If you can not trust your partner to behave in a manner that is acceptable to both of you then you have bigger problems than strip clubs.

    I personally don’t care about the debate whether it is acceptable for someone to visit a strip club- I think it is up to the individual/couple and should be no one elses business. What I do care about within this debate is the blame shifting. If the individual is weak enough to get sucked in by the stories told by the workers (and lets face it we all know that the patrons don’t believe those BS stories- they are just playing long) and do something that would go against what had been discussed and agreed upon as acceptable behaviour then that speaks to their character and no one elses.

    I always like to put the comparison out there that personally I would be more worried about the behaviour of some people at night clubs (some of the dancing/groping/touching that happens is well beyond what happens at some strip clubs) rather than strip clubs because in the end the girworkers at strip clubs don’t provide services for free- so if the patron has no cash/credit then the strippers will lose interest pretty fast. Whereas at a nightclub there is no cash motivation just gratification!

    Post # 15
    Member
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    If your man respects you to begin with, he wouldnt feel the need to ogle at naked women dancing for money. So regardless of what goes on in the champagne room, it’s still disgusting. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1077 posts
    Bumble bee

    @j_jaye:  Hear hear! I understand that each club is different, but I can say from what I have seen that this is not the case everywhere. Just because a guy is exposed to that temptation doesn’t mean that he’s going to succumb to it. If a guy crosses the line at a strip club it isn’t the strip club’s fault, it’s the guys. Also, people that want to cheat are going to find a way to do it. Forbidding your SO from going to a club isn’t going to keep him on the straight and narrow if he wants to stray anyway.

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