- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
Ex stripper here. Long story of how I actually got involved in that industry from the age of 21-31 years of age. God, what a waste of my life. Needless to say, I have gained a lot of insight. I also gained a lot of useful info for upcoming brides, wife’s, girlfriends etc. So many times I want to share this with the people I know, but I can’t. Because this is in my past, I want to keep it there and I don’t want to be judged by my husbands friends, their wife’s, or deal with the gossip and drama that would be associated with my being open about it.
I feel it is extremely manipulative to be told that you must “trust your man” while he goes off and has a bachelor party with his friends. The way it is all set up is SO messed up. Your fiancée does none of the planning, in fact much of it is often a surprise. (so he can hide behind that as a excuse of why whatever went down is in no way his fault) ah poor thing! Such a victim!
Yes, you should be able to trust your man while his friends who feel they owe him one last fling one last hurrah while he is still single? Proceed to get him drunk, and then offer him temptation after temptation all night long. Right. I am being sarcastic. What you should really be able to trust is that he would see through all the bullshit this society feeds us and forgo the whole thing from the beginning because guess what? He isn’t single!
Anyone who thinks strip clubs are harmless, is wrong. Especially the ones in Vegas.
It is true in my opinion, that some strip clubs can be some what harmless. The local ones, where the rules are more strict, maybe a pool table in the corner, the guys aren’t allowed to touch below the shoulders or above the knees. The girls are only allowed to take their top off on stage. Not a ideal environment of course. But not the worst, as long as this is not where he goes for lunch everyday during his lunch break. (which some do) but those guys are not common. Typically those guys are married for 25 years & not happy, addicted to porn.
Some strip clubs are however totally harmful. And many guys are even innocent to how messed up things can get in these places. The ones that are the worst I have seen are the ones in Vegas. Guys usually show up drunk, then have more drinks. The dances that take place right in the middle of the club are bad. Often men are allowed to fondle their breasts, these women may “accidentally” slip a nipple across their lips to get them ready for more & more. It’s so much easier to rope one “nice guy” in for most of the night than work the room for one dance at a time. If you can succeed at getting this “nice” guy to fall in love with you for the night you can get any where from 200-1000 dollars from him pretty easy if you know a few manipulative tricks. Be down to earth, be carefree, let him know you aren’t like all the other girls who work there. Be really flirty, find ways to connect with him. Thenme funny, charming, and stutty. Be his dream girl. Pretty soon he will sympathetically ask you why you work there.. Tell them the truth, you of course have a sob story of how such a good girl wound up there. Pretty soon your man will feel he has a true friend in the strip club. But what he doesn’t realize is that this is how she makes her $$ every night. By manipulating men.
So that is the emotional hooking these girls will often pull. Now let’s get to the nitty gritty facts;
In the champagne room, sex is often offered. In rare cases, it can happen inside of the club. I have seen used condom wrappers wind up on the floor.
Lapdances can and often do last for hours with groaping and grinding and sometimes kissing as well as handjobs in the back dark corner of a club.
If a stripper takes a liking to your man she may offer him sex after her shift or may leave early with him.
The so called nice guys who don’t go to these places often wind up doing the most. These are the ones whose fiancées give them a kiss and their blessing and can’t imagine that their man who loves them so much would get in what much trouble. Wrong!!
If your fiancée has strippers in a hotel room it’s really bad. This is a whole other kind of stripper. She is with out a doubt a prostitute. These guys will usually hire between 2-8 strippers and watch these girls have sex with each other with toys and what not,then give blow jobs or naked dances to each of theguys who are willing and will disappear into a back room with anyone who is willing to pay. For a thousand bucks they will often spend the whole night.
Yes, you have every right to be terrified & upset. No not every single guy engages in every activity I have mentioned here. But I can tell you, out of every group of guys who goes to a strip club, at least one of two of the guys within every group I have seen in vegas takes it a lot further than they ever imagined they would. And it is often not the guys you would imagine would do such a thing.
The girls who work in strip clubs usually will take it down a notch if you are there with your boyfriend. So don’t be foolish, and say to your self.. I have been inside a strip club. It’s not that bad..
Set ground rules. Obviously you have to trust the man you are about to marry, but he is only human and a wise person doesn’t put themselves in a bad situation to begin with. Remember, him & his friends or even other girls telling you that you are some kind of a shrew who is untrusting and that you should just allow your self to be disrespected is totally out of line & flatout wrong. It is manipulation. Even if they don’t realize it because our world is so screwed up.
Ground rules to consider;
No overnight trips unless they are doing something truly innocent. Vegas, Amsterdam= not innocent.
No strippers hired privately for a hotel room show.
No back rooms.
Tell your fiancée what would be crossing your comfort line & he needs to set ground rules with the people who are planning his party.
Tell him what you consider cheating & you don’t wish for a divorce before the wedding.
Dont cave into his excuses of not wanting to let his buddies down. That is complete and utter crap. Total manipulation again.
Keep in mind, what you are allowing your future husband to do with his friends you are also subjecting their wives and girlfriends to. No one wants to be the only wife who didn’t let their husband go and have a good time. Dont worry about being cool. That is crap. Band together as women and stop being door mats. Don’t be controlled by these men and the fact that they all have their selfish moments.