(Closed) Strip clubs. Bachelor parties. What really goes on.

posted 9 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Please comment & feel free to ask questions, but please don't be mean! Thanks :)
  • Post # 107
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    What people do in their own relationship is their business. If you don`t want your man going to strip clubs that your issue.So why make assumptions and judgmental statements about others who happen to disagree. Some of the comments about trusting your man has me also pausing! What is wrong with that? if you don’t trust your Fi why are you getting married to him?

    Also the tone towards strippers, these men arent victims they know what they are getting into they walk into an establishment, where they know they are paying to see naked women dance. They are in control of their wallets, if a stripper is a good businesswoman she going to push her sales and try to make as much money and you know what props to her, Im sure she has her bills to pay like everyone else.

    I think where my Fi goes and who he is with is irrelevant, he is in control of himself and should know what situations to avoid, when to to walk away. So I don`t care what permissible in that environment I place any and all blame solely on his shoulders should something happen which I doubt it will.

    Lets also give some of these guys credit, these threads make them sound like simple minded sex starved fools who have zero self control.

    Post # 112
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @LGenz:  Fair enough.  To be honest, I can tell myself all day long that I’m pretty awesome (and believe it most of the time) but I would honestly feel a little…insecure about my man touching another woman the way and in the same places he touches me.  I would start thinking “was hers better?” “were you more attracted to her perfect body than my not-so-perfect body?”.  I know that this is not healthy, but I also don’t worry about him patronizing strippers on a regular basis so this isn’t a big problem in my real life.  I guess I just give you and women like you PROPS because I honestly wouldn’t be that comfortable with it.  I would never stop him from going but, yes, I would be disappointed and a lot more insecure for a while. 

    Post # 113
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee

    @LGenz: Mostly this!

    Although I’m not engaged, I have been in a serious relationship with someone that I loved enough to marry, so my opinion/experiences apply to that situation:

    I’ve been to strip clubs, with guy friends and with my sig other, in VEGAS, as well as other cities.  It’s mostly silly fun.  Disclaimer: I’ve never been to a bachelor party, and I agree that there’s probably a different energy when those factors are present.

    Many strippers have nice bodies, but honestly, so do I.  I also am educated, well-employed, God-fearing, responsible, funny, thoughtful, organized, fun in the sack, and easy-going.  Not to toot my own horn, but no man I’d ever choose would leave me for a stripper. 

    And if all we’re talking about is a little booty or boob-grabbing, again, I don’t really care.  It’s all about personal boundaries, as other posters have said.  My boundary is that his wang needs to stay in his pants.

    On another note . . . to all the posters who indicate that alcohol doesn’t affect character- that might be true, but I’ve certainly fallen prey to a few vodka/tonics and a friendly stripper (for those of you who haven’t been, they go SUPER out of their way to compliment the women so that you’re more comfy: “wow, you’re so pretty . . . he’s so lucky to be here with you . . . you’re gorgeous . . . blah blah blah) and ended up in the champagne room with my sig other like, “what happened?  How in the hell did we end up in here?”  Lol!

    p.s. I too take pole dancing classes- one of the best things I ever did for my    self-esteem and fitness!  If you have any amount of flexbility/coordination, I recommend!

    Post # 115
    Member
    2582 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @Happilymarried12:   how is that an equal scenario?

    Post # 116
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

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    @LuckyJuls:  this exactly. 

    I am someone who doesn’t like my Fiance to go to strip clubs, not because he can’t see a girl walking around in skimpy clothes but because I don’t want boobs in his face or any of that. His friends have had sex with strippers in clubs, paid strippers to scissor eachother and everything else…and i live in ohio but it all goes on in the lap dance room, just behind the curtain or whatever.I just don’t want him in that environment. The thought has never crossed my mind that he would leave me for any stripper or any woman for that matter, i dont worry about cheating.But I am proteciting my boundries, what might be a careless boob grab would really sting me, so I just don’t like that situation. He can look at porn all he wants but I just don’t want him that close to another woman’s nakedness and I don’t even want to tempt the situation. 

    My grandma always said, trust your man, but not 100%, you should never trust a man 100%. Now I don’t necessarily believe that but I do believe in protecting your relationship and for me that involves being careful what situation you put yourself in, that goes for both of us.

    Post # 117
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I referenced lisa105 in a post earlier, but I was mixed up. It was actually thatprettylady

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bachelor-party-do-i-have-the-right-to-be-upset/page

    She says her Fiance did something really bad at his stag party where she actually thought about calling off the wedding. She trusted him 100%, but her advice is not to let your Fiance be in that environment. Hope they are working through things ok!

    Post # 118
    Member
    117 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Hmmm interesting. I still think it depends on the guy if he is a cheater or not.

    My ex told me he would never go to a strip club. Turns out he went all the time with his friends so you never know even if they tell you they dont.

    Then my sis husband (we thought was a nice guy) he did not really have a bachelor party and just went golfing.. Turns our he was seeing a striper on the side.

    So if he is a cheater there are signs and if not he wont.

    Post # 119
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m curious- for those of you that don’t care if your man touches another woman or the woman touches him… is your man cool with other dudes touching you or you touching other dudes?  Just hoping it works both ways 🙂

     

    Post # 121
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    For those ladies who are ok with their men going to strip clubs, are you ok with them touching boobies and booties every time they go to the strip club or only at their bachelor party?

    I guess that’s the part that’s hard for me to swallow (no pun intended…giggle).  I’m ok with him LOOKING, but it’s the touching that bothers me.  And, frankly, I’m surprised so many bees are ok with the touching too.  I guess you can just put me in the nagging, insecure female group.  :-/

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